February 13, 2017
February 2017
It has taken me nearly 3 months to get around to reading all the texts, e-mails, phone calls, Facebook posts and letters of love and support sent to Mom and I received on the recent passing of Vilmos (Bill) Kovacs, my Dad. Not only where there plenty of reading to do, but for me, reading them was the one of the most difficult parts of the grieving process I had to face. Contrarily, my willingness to talk about Dad or share a memory sheds less tears but not necessarily minimizing any emotions and the loss.
With a heavy, aching heart, Mom and I are trying to find our lives back to a new routine without Dad. He was a fighter to the end and will be remembered by all as a generous, kind soul who was devoted to his family and friends. The smiles, the laughter and taking time to listen to his stories he shared will be missed. From the outpouring of family and friends, it is no doubt he left his mark in all those he met whether lifelong friends or newly made ones.
From as far back as I can remember to even present day, my closest friends who came around to my parents' house knew my parents not as Bill and Elizabeth, not Mr and Mrs Kovacs, but called them Mom and Dad. Being an only child, the love and respect my friends have for my parents, allowed me to have "brothers" and "sisters" that I never had. When visiting, many friends like to visit and spend time chatting with them or when calling always ask how my parents are doing and then I get my time to engage in conversation with them. Never crossing my mind as why they would ask about my parents first, but I looked it at as not only do I have a great circle of friends but have even more awesome parents who were held in such regard by them.
Most of you have known in the last few years I was not only his son, but devoted caregiver along with my Mom being the primary caregiver. However, many of you never met my Dad. When newly retired, he offered to help us deliver Christmas trees during the holidays to our Y family centers or the Y after-school and pre-school sites I oversaw, or on the rare occasion when he visited a Y I worked at, I proudly introduced him to my work family. Even while battling cancer and the brutal treatments to overcoming three strokes and other health issues, he always fought and held strong despite the adversity thrown at him while remaining selfless to others. Those closest to me, have often been subject to me sharing some of our funniest, as well as well as most difficult times we’ve been through over the past several years.
For this, I want to thank each and every one of you for being there for me then and now. Many of you helped me get through some of the darkest days by reaching out to me, held me close with a hug or just simply being there. This has helped me celebrate Dad, in the way I prefer to remember him, as a relentless, stubborn warrior against illness and an enormous heart and taking his role as provider, father and husband as his personal creed.
Over the years, the myriad caregivers and health care professionals we encountered became part of our extended family. With their warmth, compassion and sense of humor they welcomed us genuinely and affectionately into their inner circle. These dedicated individuals continued to reinforce his strength to overcome the multiple health issues he faced. All the medical teams we encountered, embraced our family through some of the most challenging times we faced. Dad always fought and held strong despite the adversity thrown at him, he most often proved he was stronger than both Mom and I combined. Dad is the one who always reminded us “He’ll be alright” while Mom and I wondered how he would get through another obstacle in his way.
Through the help of devoted caretakers and medical professionals, they helped make the last several months of his life as comfortable as possible. Here’s a shout out to the ones who went above and beyond with a smile and offered extended emotional support. Mom and I would appreciate this letter be shared with all those who crossed paths with him as well and allow them to shine like the stars they are! They made his days better and brighter through providing him quality care despite the difficulty we faced as a family, transitioning to various levels of care. Helping him both medically and socially brought comfort to us, knowing he was being taken care of by many individuals who treated him with love, dignity, respect and genuine care. There are no words cannot express our gratitude and appreciation for all that they have done for us.
This last obstacle thrown at him, was the one he was unable to overcome, and probably why his passing made it all the harder for us. As Mom and I stood by his bedside, hoping, once again, that he will rebound and conquer and “be alright. “ In our hearts, we already knew it was time for him to let go and be free of the pain he so long endured.
It is my hope this past holiday season and forthcoming ones allowed time to bring you and your families together, create new memories, cherish past memories and time to reflect on what is what valued most, family, friends and time to be together. In prayer, I wish you and your families and friends opportunities to be filled with health, happiness and all that you dream.
Throughout my life, my parents proved once again, minding manners when manners matter does make a difference.
It has taken me nearly 3 months to get around to reading all the texts, e-mails, phone calls, Facebook posts and letters of love and support sent to Mom and I received on the recent passing of Vilmos (Bill) Kovacs, my Dad. Not only where there plenty of reading to do, but for me, reading them was the one of the most difficult parts of the grieving process I had to face. Contrarily, my willingness to talk about Dad or share a memory sheds less tears but not necessarily minimizing any emotions and the loss.
With a heavy, aching heart, Mom and I are trying to find our lives back to a new routine without Dad. He was a fighter to the end and will be remembered by all as a generous, kind soul who was devoted to his family and friends. The smiles, the laughter and taking time to listen to his stories he shared will be missed. From the outpouring of family and friends, it is no doubt he left his mark in all those he met whether lifelong friends or newly made ones.
From as far back as I can remember to even present day, my closest friends who came around to my parents' house knew my parents not as Bill and Elizabeth, not Mr and Mrs Kovacs, but called them Mom and Dad. Being an only child, the love and respect my friends have for my parents, allowed me to have "brothers" and "sisters" that I never had. When visiting, many friends like to visit and spend time chatting with them or when calling always ask how my parents are doing and then I get my time to engage in conversation with them. Never crossing my mind as why they would ask about my parents first, but I looked it at as not only do I have a great circle of friends but have even more awesome parents who were held in such regard by them.
Most of you have known in the last few years I was not only his son, but devoted caregiver along with my Mom being the primary caregiver. However, many of you never met my Dad. When newly retired, he offered to help us deliver Christmas trees during the holidays to our Y family centers or the Y after-school and pre-school sites I oversaw, or on the rare occasion when he visited a Y I worked at, I proudly introduced him to my work family. Even while battling cancer and the brutal treatments to overcoming three strokes and other health issues, he always fought and held strong despite the adversity thrown at him while remaining selfless to others. Those closest to me, have often been subject to me sharing some of our funniest, as well as well as most difficult times we’ve been through over the past several years.
For this, I want to thank each and every one of you for being there for me then and now. Many of you helped me get through some of the darkest days by reaching out to me, held me close with a hug or just simply being there. This has helped me celebrate Dad, in the way I prefer to remember him, as a relentless, stubborn warrior against illness and an enormous heart and taking his role as provider, father and husband as his personal creed.
Over the years, the myriad caregivers and health care professionals we encountered became part of our extended family. With their warmth, compassion and sense of humor they welcomed us genuinely and affectionately into their inner circle. These dedicated individuals continued to reinforce his strength to overcome the multiple health issues he faced. All the medical teams we encountered, embraced our family through some of the most challenging times we faced. Dad always fought and held strong despite the adversity thrown at him, he most often proved he was stronger than both Mom and I combined. Dad is the one who always reminded us “He’ll be alright” while Mom and I wondered how he would get through another obstacle in his way.
Through the help of devoted caretakers and medical professionals, they helped make the last several months of his life as comfortable as possible. Here’s a shout out to the ones who went above and beyond with a smile and offered extended emotional support. Mom and I would appreciate this letter be shared with all those who crossed paths with him as well and allow them to shine like the stars they are! They made his days better and brighter through providing him quality care despite the difficulty we faced as a family, transitioning to various levels of care. Helping him both medically and socially brought comfort to us, knowing he was being taken care of by many individuals who treated him with love, dignity, respect and genuine care. There are no words cannot express our gratitude and appreciation for all that they have done for us.
This last obstacle thrown at him, was the one he was unable to overcome, and probably why his passing made it all the harder for us. As Mom and I stood by his bedside, hoping, once again, that he will rebound and conquer and “be alright. “ In our hearts, we already knew it was time for him to let go and be free of the pain he so long endured.
It is my hope this past holiday season and forthcoming ones allowed time to bring you and your families together, create new memories, cherish past memories and time to reflect on what is what valued most, family, friends and time to be together. In prayer, I wish you and your families and friends opportunities to be filled with health, happiness and all that you dream.
Throughout my life, my parents proved once again, minding manners when manners matter does make a difference.
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