MANAGING THE HIGHS AND LOWS

It’s all about balance.

Looking back at both 2019 and 2020 was one of my worst couple of years I had and Covid-19 was the cherry on the sundae of those two years. A plethora of very stressful events occurred in my life and melted me down to my core. It seems like large pity party was being held in the pit of my stomach and in the deepest trenches of my mind. Typically, when I sense these feelings coming on, my tenacity and resilience remind me I am have overcome adversity before and to focus on be mindful.

Almost a whole year before the pandemic settled in and made its global impact, I had to have surgery to repair a double meniscus tear. Prior to the surgery, I was only going to my YMCA family center on a limited basis as the intense pain made it nearly impossible to do much of anything. The surgery was successful and I slowly began to return to my workout schedule. More on that later…

In March 2020 not only the seriousness of the pandemic begin to close things down, but changes began to happen overnight. My local YMCA family center only served as an essential employees child care center and the other amenities were non operational.

With all world basically coming to a stop, I stopped watching what and how I ate, meds changed and stopped exercising when the Y closed and I gained more weight than I thought from a combination of all aforementioned things. Other priorities, other than myself begin to unfold and not necessarily to the betterment of me.

I vowed to go back in August to get back to working out twice a week for 40 minutes and by January 1, committed to five times a week. I made a change to start steering my life back in control after several really rough, challenging years. It was actually my August blog post, that I shared here Yesterday 08, After 03, Today 20. Encrypted was the start date 08.03.20 but with meaning yesterday ended 8 years of putting everyone but me first, 3 years which were really rough my resilience again carried me through.

According to Covey, takes 21 days to form a habit, so today I make a promise for I will work on a better me and make a better life for me. I didn’t realize how much my body wasted away as just the simple exercises in the beginning had me winded and uncomfortable. It’s like my body forgot everything and became more comfortable in its lazy state.

Furthermore, I didn’t realize how much my body missed my morning abuse with a personal trainer. I determined to commit to investing into a personal trainer, not because I don’t know my way around a fitness center, but I need someone who will push me a step or more than I would do myself and hold me accountable each session. This allowed me to start putting me as priority, started to watch how much I eat. The weight is slowly coming off (with help of Noom), clothes fit better, more feeling better days than not and blood sugars are better.

I started Noom in early January got back to portion control etc and eating on schedule. After a month on a new focus on eating I find I am eating less and and second thinking extra and excessive portions.

I never believed in New Year Resolutions because often they are highly unattainable rather than small timely goals we can meet. I am still at it - feeling better as a result. I am 10 pounds down so far with a way to go but confident I will keep it off as I am learning how to better cope with stress and learning to have a better understanding and relationship with food. It has become my routine, my habit and when I don’t do it, the guilt as well as I am overcome with malaise.

Having a diabetes, a chronic condition, I was excited to have my A1C go from 8.9 to 6.6 with a balance of nutrition, medication and wellness - however with control came weight gain. I am so flustered that my A1C dropped and I gained weight. Even 3 surgeries, I managed to jump back to the gym as best as I could to do the right thing.

Prior to the challenging years, I was in good control with A1Cs between 6.5 and 7.0. I lost a considerable amount of weight which I attributed to my bicycling but turned out my control was lost and my A1C steadily increased until I hit nearly 10.0. During my last few years of battling highs which were a challenge to bring down with oral medication, I was put on insulin and my A1C is back to a safe zone between 6.8 snd 7.0.

Ok, as most of you know I am the storyteller…so continuing on…

Since I started this, my blood sugars began to drop significantly where I am having less numbers above 180 and more numbers below 120. There are plenty of days we’re I went low 65-90 even after eating - which I ended up having to eat some fruit or take a few glucose tablets to bring it up to a comfortable level before proceeding to exercise or go to bed. My first quarterly appointment since 08.03.20 is Thursday and I anticipate my A1C will have dropped from the previous 6.9 in early September and hope to see the scale down a few pounds too.

As a diabetic, I know what and how to eat so I don’t spike or crash but remain at a consistent constant. I know what and when and how much meds to take to do the same. I know increasing physical activity and reducing my stress levels help me remain healthy. I know a lot more about my diabetes and how I react to it physically and mentally than the next closest relative to me, so what makes you think you know better?

It is just the one unexpected item that threw me off balance - whether it spiked me or crashed me or in this case I did both twice within one day. Recently, I woke up to a high of 164 when the night before i was in range at 123. No reason other than woke up half hour earlier. Took my meds - 15u of humalog and ate a balanced breakfast with approximately 30g carbs. When it came to do a post prandial check two hours later I was 49. Oddly, I didn’t feel I was low, so I rechecked and was the same. I took glucose tabs then raised my levels and resumed what I was doing.

The whole rest of the day I dwelled on what may have caused this and then to add to the drama a repeat performance. Post lunch numbers dropped after my meal but before bed spiked again for no apparent reason. Dinner was balanced and didn’t have any treats after dinner.

It’s those little things as a diabetic that frustrate me - not the diets, not checking my blood glucose (BG), not having to give a shot, not people thinking they know better than me. It’s the unexpected BG readings when you think you think, “I got this!” and your demeanor is instantly shattered because you now feel diabetic defeat rather that victorious. Despite the pandemic, life has been pretty good to me but I still ponder over worry on things beyond my control. But with my numbers so different than previous years I started to worry if I have other health issues going on, worry about what’s going on at work and all the changes our country is going through.

For this reason alone, I try to let yesterday remain there, live for today and worry only about tomorrow - well tomorrow so I can enjoy the highs of my life while managing the lows of blood glucose and weight.

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