QUIETENING THE RATTLING IN MY MIND

Peering into the window of my life,
I can’t see much further than tomorrow.
Before the new day brings its next checklist,
Today holds me hostage to tasks to do.

Before attempting the next item,
I release a long held but quiet sigh.
My shaking nervous hand grasps the pencil,
Smearing a check, marking the  task complete.

I struggle finding order in my list.
Knowing time passed is lost in its own abyss.
With no chance of recovering what’s past due,   
I find myself turning against myself.

I grapple with my need for perfection,
Ruminating how I could have done more.
I then thought how I could have done better,
Exhausting all the options in my mind.

At day’s end, my bed invited me in,
For a good night’s sleep after a long day.
Yet, when I awake, I question my sleep,
Believing it was just a quick hour’s nap.  

I return, to review my list, again,
Only to see it has grown much longer.
Without much success, it held me captive,
A distraction meandered in my thoughts.

Suddenly, I felt the firm grip soften, 
Then eventually go limp and let go.
Without direction, I felt all but lost,
Then my senses were overwhelmed with change.

Although subtle, they try to be distinct,
It felt like heaven’s presence took over.
A gentle crisp breeze felt cool to the touch, 
Allowing me to taste my own freedom.

With my eyes seeing beyond the to do’s,
I take chances to seek life’s newfound joy.
I begin walking with poise and purpose,
Leaving the usual sense of urgency.

It was then I heard a gentle, calm voice,
Sharing the stories of a balanced life.
As quick as it arrived, it departed,
Leaving a hint of life’s scent of success.

UNEXPECTED BEGINNING

Some time passed by me,
More than you’re thinking,
But here I’m waiting,
Then you just appear.

I was lost in thought,
Thinking about life,
The choices I made,
Or the ones slipped by.

Waiting for a friend,
Who never showed up,
Leaving me alone,
Still lost in my thoughts.

Suddenly, a stir,
I heard close by me,
It was your presence,
And your gentle voice.

Your very first words,
“Good morning to you!”
Startled me in place,
Then ready to run.

But for some reason,
I was comforted,
Unexpectedly,
Then, I replied back.

This odd beginning,
Of a life friendship,
Gifted from Heaven,
Forged amongst unknowns.

 

WHEN SILENCE QUIETS LIFE’S NOISE

For most of my own life,
I put everyone first,
Leaving me always last.
Just saying, “I’m fine.”

Without even waiting,
A moment to finish,
What’s in my thoughts and say 
Before they just moved on.

Yet, I listen to them,
Share their celebrations,
Offer empathy or
Be there in time of need. 

No one reached out to me,
Extending an offer,
Relieving my burdens,
I carried over time.

I always simply said,
“Don’t worry about me.”
or sometimes replied,
“I am hanging in there.”

Chasing life’s fast pace,
No one hears my reply,
Or worse my words get lost,
In the surrounding noise.

I find solace alone,
Letting my mind be free,
From clutter and chaos, 
To silence which hid noise.

I find my catharsis,
As I walk the forest’s path,
Seeing only darkness,
With trees drowning out light.  

The dirt path carries tales,
Of journeys before me,
Yet, leaves whisper secrets,
As the wind hushes through.

Sharing secrets to life,
Left behind by others,
Trying to find answers,
To their own walked journeys. 

I’m not alone feeling,
Others walked with this ache, 

Only the forest knows,
All that’s been held within.

I am slowly learning,
Others don’t always care,
Tending to the fire,
Then protecting their flame. 

For them life and their time,
Is all about their own,
Without carrying weight,
Of others in their space.

For the forest speaks last,
Sharing its last life’s lesson,
“Find your own happiness.”
And “Pass it on freely.”
 

LIFE AFTER ANSWERING MY CALLING

Morning arrives gently, offering a soft beginning,
I rise with intention, letting my breath settle.  
The shoreline waits patiently, holding its long exhale,
I walk as if the sand is teaching me how to move.

The waves revise softly, shaping what the day allows,
A gull lifts upward, certain of its place here.  
People pass quickly, carrying their bright urgency,
I nod in silence, grateful for my slower rhythm.  

Retirement feels wider, opening space within me,
I listen inwardly, hearing thoughts long quieted.  
I think of others, the ones who shaped my living, 
Legacy feels like footprints reshaped by the tide.

By noon I’m writing, chasing a restless sentence, 
I follow its motion, trusting the path it chooses. 
Afternoon light lingers, checking that I’m present,  
I answer softly, knowing I am here fully.  

Evening gathers gently, folding the day around me,
My chosen people enter, bringing warm laughter. 
We cook together, sharing stories worn smooth,
Night settles slowly, wrapping the room in quiet.  

I breathe with gratitude, knowing life keeps unfolding,
Into a quieter sense of worth and purpose.
Yesterday’s choices delivered this moment I’ve earned,
The gift of the present I open every day.