October 07, 2014
Have you ever woke up every hour on the hour thinking you have overslept? I am more than certain this has happened to all of us at one time or another. However, this has happened to me not just once this week, or twice, but all week. Today was the first day of my taking on the role of child care program director for one of our YMCA family centers. I was not too anxious as I have been already overseeing four school-age child care sites, so what is five more, plus one new one opening as of today. Most of the staff, I have gotten to know as when we had all staff meetings monthly.
My only heartburn issue, I spent a whole great deal of time worrying about opening a new program location and not knowing what to expect. My guess, its not any different from opening day of summer camp or opening the school-age child care sites on the first day of school. It’s the learning of new faces, finding my way around a new location, new expectations from school administrators and the dynamics of a new community’s demographics to learn. My sleepless nights now have a reason, worrying about all what I just said and then add to it how do I grow the census, build the partnership with the school and get it staffed. Armed with myself and one group leader from another site, we took on the challenge of opening this site with only six children who registered for the first day of the new program. Being a neighborhood school, I never expected this program to gain much in census, but I certainly expected more than six to be enrolled on the first day.
The day, as if it were yesterday, I remember it so clearly, it was just one of those rare cold, by south Florida standards, winter days where the morning starts off with you wearing a sweater or more and can’t wait to peel it off by mid-morning. I started off the day at the program site, hoping to meet-and-greet families and hand out information about our YMCA and the programs available to them at their school, school-age child care, holiday camps, fun day programs and summer camps as well as many programs offered at other locations as our family center was a mere storefront and not a full-fledged YMCA. I managed to hand out the majority of brochures but albeit most took the flyers without a second look or appeared too much in a hurry to stop and ask any questions. They all seemed determined and focused on task, too busy dropping off in the morning to hurrying off to work and in the afternoon were just as much of a hurry to get wherever they were heading next.
Wrapping up my information table, I left brochures in the school’s office and strolled to the cafetorium to get ready for the first day of the program. With my supplies in place, attendance sheet ready and everything in place, I anticipated the children entering the program at dismissal. As they arrived I found a perfect symmetry of three boys and three girls and just as diverse in ages and ethnicity but then there was a surprise in a small package waiting. I had three lower grades (preK, K and 1st) and three higher grades (2nd, 3rd and 4th). This definitely became a programming challenge – how do you entertain at such a level to keep the younger children entertained and the older children engaged? My group leader and I decided to keep to our original plan, start with snack and outdoor playground time to help them release the energy built up the entire school day.
We served cookies for snack and “bug juice” (our complimentary choice of words for the overly sweet, syrupy fruit punch). The children always seem to enjoy it more than then staff serving them. This was long before school-age child care programs had to meet the USFA (United States Food Administration) and local licensing requirements implemented nutritional standards for snacks. Once snack was finished, clean up and restrooms we were ready to engage in outdoor playground time. I tapped one of the girl’s shoulders to signify we were ready to go. This is where my surprise in a small package erupted, much like a volcano laying dormant for hundreds of years.
Paige exclaimed, violently, “Don’t touch me!” and screamed “No! No! No!” repeatedly as she ran around inside the cafetorium.
Within the blink of our eyes, she picked up a chair off the stage and began smashing the jalousie windows, one to three at a time. With each new crash of one to three glass panes at a time, I kept praying she wouldn’t hurt herself or anyone else. My group leader and the other children calmly, followed the schedule and went out to the playground. After what seemed like an hour, when in fact it could not have been no more than 15 minutes, Paige sat down on the floor and begin playing with her doll. As quick as this erupted it managed to self-deescalate just as quick. I just stood over her, in total amazement and shock, how in such a short time, this young girl created catastrophic damage to the cafetorium. At the same time, I was visibly stressed and frightened – from shaking to my eyes filled with tears and my shirt drenched in sweat from this entire ordeal.
Whether or not it was coincidence or her hearing the commotion going on, in walked the school principal. Not quite 5 feet tall, maybe one hundred pounds soaking wet, but nevertheless as intimidating as a principal can be. Her poise was determined, authoritative and confident. I already knew Lynne as I worked with her in a different capacity only a short time ago.
“What happened here?” Lynne questioned in slight surprise and remained calm.
As I stammered to get a few words out, “I really don’t know, but this was the end result.”
She looked at me, then walked over to Paige, “Can you tell me what happened?”
Paige rocked back and forth and as if pleading to take the Fifth Amendment. I slowly approached Lynne and Paige and began to explain what happened. After patiently listening to me, Lynne put her arm around me and gave me a much needed reassuring hug.
“Honey, you didn’t do anything wrong. Are you OK?” Lynne reassuringly asked.
“No.” I said somewhat timidly but definitive in my answer.
Lynne had informed me she would contact Paige’s mother to about the situation and have her come pick her up. She asked me to contact my supervisor to get hold of our insurance company and she would contact the school board’s risk management team. Lynne attended to Paige until she was picked up. With tears in her big brown eyes, Paige profusely apologized to me when her mother picked her up. After all the children were picked up my group leader, my executive director, Lynne and I all met to review the day’s events.
Lynne complimented me and how calm and patient I remained throughout the day and how I truly remained professional despite the circumstance thrown to me on my first day as program director. She further articulated how my not showing any emotion and ensuring safety of the others was the only appropriate action to take and my trying to stop Paige would only make the situation far worse.
At this moment, I was first introduced to tactile defensive disorder which apparently is and can be part of the autism disorder spectrum. Unfortunately, Paige’s comes with the rare combination of violent behavior issues not just sensory issues. As we talked, the school board’s risk management team arrived to clean up the shattered glass pieces, remove remaining intact glass and board up the gaping holes left. Lynne mentioned how Paige managed to create other violent disruptions throughout the school day and required a one-on-one unique education aide to assist her. I mentioned how her condition was not listed anywhere on our registration forms – I showed under the statement, “Is there any medical condition, disability or concerns which may impact the participant’s ability to fully participate in the program” in which the mother responded “None.” Lynne mentioned how parents of children with disabilities often fall in the two different extremes, those in denial and those who want all the special accommodations afforded to them under the law and then some. She recommended Paige not be permitted into the program unless the mother was willing to hire her unique education aide to assist in the school-age child care program.
So my first day of opening this school-age child care program was far from what I expected and hoped but it was etched into a memory. It was not necessarily a good day, but good was found in the day. The familiar faces of Lynne, who had brought comfort and encouragement and my YMCA executive director’s calmness and leadership provided me stability of my decisions and reassurance of how I did the right thing. What could have been a far worse outcome in the situation proved to me no matter how bad your life is today, tomorrow will still arrive and each yesterday will be a lesson to make you stronger and better you.
As I continue my journey, it was definitely a Paige in time and lessons learned about not taking for granted all that we do when working with children, especially those with special needs. Reminding me the importance of human condition, as it still takes priority in all that I do even if it creates a glass shattering moment in time.
My only heartburn issue, I spent a whole great deal of time worrying about opening a new program location and not knowing what to expect. My guess, its not any different from opening day of summer camp or opening the school-age child care sites on the first day of school. It’s the learning of new faces, finding my way around a new location, new expectations from school administrators and the dynamics of a new community’s demographics to learn. My sleepless nights now have a reason, worrying about all what I just said and then add to it how do I grow the census, build the partnership with the school and get it staffed. Armed with myself and one group leader from another site, we took on the challenge of opening this site with only six children who registered for the first day of the new program. Being a neighborhood school, I never expected this program to gain much in census, but I certainly expected more than six to be enrolled on the first day.
The day, as if it were yesterday, I remember it so clearly, it was just one of those rare cold, by south Florida standards, winter days where the morning starts off with you wearing a sweater or more and can’t wait to peel it off by mid-morning. I started off the day at the program site, hoping to meet-and-greet families and hand out information about our YMCA and the programs available to them at their school, school-age child care, holiday camps, fun day programs and summer camps as well as many programs offered at other locations as our family center was a mere storefront and not a full-fledged YMCA. I managed to hand out the majority of brochures but albeit most took the flyers without a second look or appeared too much in a hurry to stop and ask any questions. They all seemed determined and focused on task, too busy dropping off in the morning to hurrying off to work and in the afternoon were just as much of a hurry to get wherever they were heading next.
Wrapping up my information table, I left brochures in the school’s office and strolled to the cafetorium to get ready for the first day of the program. With my supplies in place, attendance sheet ready and everything in place, I anticipated the children entering the program at dismissal. As they arrived I found a perfect symmetry of three boys and three girls and just as diverse in ages and ethnicity but then there was a surprise in a small package waiting. I had three lower grades (preK, K and 1st) and three higher grades (2nd, 3rd and 4th). This definitely became a programming challenge – how do you entertain at such a level to keep the younger children entertained and the older children engaged? My group leader and I decided to keep to our original plan, start with snack and outdoor playground time to help them release the energy built up the entire school day.
We served cookies for snack and “bug juice” (our complimentary choice of words for the overly sweet, syrupy fruit punch). The children always seem to enjoy it more than then staff serving them. This was long before school-age child care programs had to meet the USFA (United States Food Administration) and local licensing requirements implemented nutritional standards for snacks. Once snack was finished, clean up and restrooms we were ready to engage in outdoor playground time. I tapped one of the girl’s shoulders to signify we were ready to go. This is where my surprise in a small package erupted, much like a volcano laying dormant for hundreds of years.
Paige exclaimed, violently, “Don’t touch me!” and screamed “No! No! No!” repeatedly as she ran around inside the cafetorium.
Within the blink of our eyes, she picked up a chair off the stage and began smashing the jalousie windows, one to three at a time. With each new crash of one to three glass panes at a time, I kept praying she wouldn’t hurt herself or anyone else. My group leader and the other children calmly, followed the schedule and went out to the playground. After what seemed like an hour, when in fact it could not have been no more than 15 minutes, Paige sat down on the floor and begin playing with her doll. As quick as this erupted it managed to self-deescalate just as quick. I just stood over her, in total amazement and shock, how in such a short time, this young girl created catastrophic damage to the cafetorium. At the same time, I was visibly stressed and frightened – from shaking to my eyes filled with tears and my shirt drenched in sweat from this entire ordeal.
Whether or not it was coincidence or her hearing the commotion going on, in walked the school principal. Not quite 5 feet tall, maybe one hundred pounds soaking wet, but nevertheless as intimidating as a principal can be. Her poise was determined, authoritative and confident. I already knew Lynne as I worked with her in a different capacity only a short time ago.
“What happened here?” Lynne questioned in slight surprise and remained calm.
As I stammered to get a few words out, “I really don’t know, but this was the end result.”
She looked at me, then walked over to Paige, “Can you tell me what happened?”
Paige rocked back and forth and as if pleading to take the Fifth Amendment. I slowly approached Lynne and Paige and began to explain what happened. After patiently listening to me, Lynne put her arm around me and gave me a much needed reassuring hug.
“Honey, you didn’t do anything wrong. Are you OK?” Lynne reassuringly asked.
“No.” I said somewhat timidly but definitive in my answer.
Lynne had informed me she would contact Paige’s mother to about the situation and have her come pick her up. She asked me to contact my supervisor to get hold of our insurance company and she would contact the school board’s risk management team. Lynne attended to Paige until she was picked up. With tears in her big brown eyes, Paige profusely apologized to me when her mother picked her up. After all the children were picked up my group leader, my executive director, Lynne and I all met to review the day’s events.
Lynne complimented me and how calm and patient I remained throughout the day and how I truly remained professional despite the circumstance thrown to me on my first day as program director. She further articulated how my not showing any emotion and ensuring safety of the others was the only appropriate action to take and my trying to stop Paige would only make the situation far worse.
At this moment, I was first introduced to tactile defensive disorder which apparently is and can be part of the autism disorder spectrum. Unfortunately, Paige’s comes with the rare combination of violent behavior issues not just sensory issues. As we talked, the school board’s risk management team arrived to clean up the shattered glass pieces, remove remaining intact glass and board up the gaping holes left. Lynne mentioned how Paige managed to create other violent disruptions throughout the school day and required a one-on-one unique education aide to assist her. I mentioned how her condition was not listed anywhere on our registration forms – I showed under the statement, “Is there any medical condition, disability or concerns which may impact the participant’s ability to fully participate in the program” in which the mother responded “None.” Lynne mentioned how parents of children with disabilities often fall in the two different extremes, those in denial and those who want all the special accommodations afforded to them under the law and then some. She recommended Paige not be permitted into the program unless the mother was willing to hire her unique education aide to assist in the school-age child care program.
So my first day of opening this school-age child care program was far from what I expected and hoped but it was etched into a memory. It was not necessarily a good day, but good was found in the day. The familiar faces of Lynne, who had brought comfort and encouragement and my YMCA executive director’s calmness and leadership provided me stability of my decisions and reassurance of how I did the right thing. What could have been a far worse outcome in the situation proved to me no matter how bad your life is today, tomorrow will still arrive and each yesterday will be a lesson to make you stronger and better you.
As I continue my journey, it was definitely a Paige in time and lessons learned about not taking for granted all that we do when working with children, especially those with special needs. Reminding me the importance of human condition, as it still takes priority in all that I do even if it creates a glass shattering moment in time.
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