A FAINT WATERMARK ON MY SOUL

I remember the day all too well,
As if it were only yesterday.
Yet, it happened forty years ago,
I was a sophomore in high school.

It was one of the coldest mornings,
South Florida faced in a while.
A sky painted in a cobalt blue,
With not even one cloud to be seen.

We were just high school kids way back then,
Not the middle-aged adults we became.
Chasing teachers who were the same age,
Quietly questioning their purpose.

The bell rang for early dismissal,
Another round of mid-terms finished.
Minds still buzzing with half-formed answers,
Pencils cooled as our hands set them down.

A favorite popular teacher,
Asked some of us to join her outside.
We spilled into the north parking lot,
Stood close for an impromptu lesson.

Pointing slightly to the northwest sky,
We squinted into the sky’s brightness.
She shared what we were about to see,
History about to be witnessed.

A sliver of a bright orange glow,
Streaking a white arc in its pathway.
Like a brush tip loaded with fresh paint.
Just waiting to paint a blank canvas.

We watched the Space Shuttle Challenger,
Climbing and speeding towards its orbit.
Like our teenage dreams of tomorrow,
Racing to paint life’s canvas today.

We cheered our brave heroes onward,
Without knowing, they raced to heaven.
Their fate sealed, January, twenty-eighth,
Nineteen eighty-six Anno Domini.

Reminding me, days when teachers asked,
Who will you become when you grow-up?
With excitement, I shared, a teacher,
As I was blessed with many great ones. 

When they named the first civilian,
Became a role model to follow.
A teacher named, Christa McAuliffe,
Only made chasing my dream real.

I recall, a teenage boy staring,
Upward to the night’s heavenly sky.
Hearing her enthusiastic words,
Exclaiming, “We’re reaching for the stars!”

We watched a scar of white plume follow,
Against the perfect cloudless blue sky.
Leaving our thoughts stranded somewhere there,
But definitely not here either.

Some of us gasped, others stayed silent,
We knew something went terribly wrong.
When asked, heaven refused to answer,
The sky’s permanent unforgiving view.

Our teacher’s voice took a moment, paused,
Quivered as she recited a prayer.
Slowly, we returned to our classroom,
She then tried to find words; silence spoke.

With no answers to what was witnessed,
She tuned the TV to local news.
The information came in pieces,
Like a puzzle waiting to be solved.

The room became earsplitting silent,
As if the world stood still and listened.
The news confirmed what we all just saw,
Challenger and crew met its demise.

Watching history before our eyes,
Suddenly, we seemed to feel older.
A day forever scarred in our minds,
Even when we took a step forward.

Watching from the shadows of my past,
I chose which memories filled my soul.
I think of who I was becoming,
Sometimes succeeded, at times I failed,

Like a faint watermark on my soul,
Her words guided my career choices.
As a promise I made to myself,
I still carry those words in my heart.

When life reveals teachable moments,
I leave my footprint on youth today.
It’s my way of reaching for the stars,
Where I still can make a difference.

Though I know it wasn’t yesterday,
The memory remains as real.
My senses distinctly remember,
How I felt, what I saw, what I heard.

I still can feel the cold winter breeze,
I still see cloudless cobalt blue skies,
I still hear the news reporting it,
But it happened many years ago.

I still try to make sense of it all,
Even when questions stir in my soul.
Yet, not quite understanding that day,
Nor do I try to figure it out.

I think of the teenage boy I was,
Gazing into the bright morning sky.
Realizing breaking is sometimes,
Beginning of learning then healing.

Serving as a lifetime reminder,
Heaven can fracture without warning.
Leaving us with prayers for tomorrow,
With better days than our yesterdays.

BAGGAGE OF BROTHERHOOD

Mission Accomplished. 

After a month or so of planning, I was able to pull off surprising one of my best friends of nearly four decades, or as I call him my brother.  Though I am an only child, he is one of the closest friends in my circle, I call his family, my family as well.

My brother and his daughter made plans to fly from Cleveland to visit his Mom and younger brother (my Jewish Mom and my little brother) and their respective life partners in Raleigh.  I got wind of this and contacted my Mom and told her my intentions and she was game for it as was my little brother.

Fast forward to December 26, 2025, I almost gave it all away when I signed off a final text with him to say, “See you later!”  I arrived on my flight about an hour prior to him and then had the pleasure to surprise greet him as he came down the escalator.  After recognizing my voice greeting him, he still had no idea where it came from.  He took a double take not just once, not twice but at least three times, I said, "Hey Stephen!" before he first spotted me.  I am certain he heard and recognized my voice but didn't know where it came from until, I stepped in front of him and welcomed him with a hug.

As they say the rest is history.  This is what true friendships are about.  It’s not just about being present to make new memories and catching up on life but being there in person in their time of need, regardless what that need may be.

Thank you Michelle Langel and Jack Berry for extending your gracious hospitality during my stay.  It was great seeing you Nicolas Langel and Claudette Cardounel it was great catching up and spending time with you.  Emily, your proof to make every day count as time does speed by faster than we can keep up and the importance to make every day count. I can’t believe you’re 16!

Lastly, Stephen Langel I enjoyed being able to spend some time catching up, laughing like old times, reminiscing and creating new memories.  We can't go so long without a visit!

Cheers to you all!

May New Year 2026 bring all my family and friends blessings of health, happiness and all that you wish and dream.

======================

Stop yelling, talk with me,
As if I give a damn.
Take a breath, talk with me,
As if I feel your pain.
I’ll listen, talk with me,
As if I’m somebody.

I am not just your friend,
In times of all life’s joy.
As you pour your soul,
Filled with raw emotions,
Into the open space
Between your heart and mine.
I am here to absorb,
Those painful moments too.

I hear pain in your voice,
Watching you fall apart,
With every word you speak.
Leaving me unshaken,
Yet, I remain grounded,
As I reassure you,
I am here for you now,
And all your tomorrows.

I am here to help you,
Carry all your baggage
Of despair, fears and tears.
I bring brand new luggage,
Filled with what you need most,
Empathy, love and hope.
I replaced the tired ones,
That caused you all your hurt.

I know a heavy weight
Lifted from your burden,
As you spilled your heart out,
All you held deep within.
I felt your body talk,
I answered without words,
With an acknowledgment
Of a few quiet nods.

With each sigh, you let go
Baggage weighing you down.
Your heartfelt tears dry up,
Before leaving a trace
On your unshaven face.
Slowly uncovering,
Then revealing, the man
I met decades ago.

I watched you carefully,
As you set free your thoughts.
Every last ounce pulled you
Closer to falling into
My eagerly awaited
Welcoming embrace
In helping you release
Pain you held way too long.

Life shifts without warning,
Like a game of poker.
Whether a royal flush,
Celebrating life’s wins
Or knowing when to fold.
Much like life’s unknown twists,
Hoping a better hand
Is around the corner.

It’s then I remind you,
As always, I am just
A phone call away or
Just a few hours by
Airplane or a car ride.
I promise you, my gift
Of always to be there,
In your greatest time of need.

If you listen closely,
You will hear the voices
Of both our dear mothers,
Sharing life’s wisdom and
Love for us, as they say,
That’s just what brothers do!

Greeting Stephen at RDU
 Airport on 12.26.25

 

GIFT OF SERENDIPITY


Learn to live,
hush the noise
of haters
and embrace 
the inner
silent peace.

Newness of
finding love, 
all is good
and life is
like a dream
you wished to
never end.

With your eyes,
beaming bright
in their gaze, 
you see their
shining light.

Their sweet voice
seems to sing,
the right words
to your ears
as you start
listening 
for each word’s
heartbeat of 
emotion.

With a whiff,
of a scent,
you realize 
they cast their
own presence 
by leaving 
their unique
fragrant mark.

Arousing
all of you,
with their warm
gentle touch,
in more ways,
you’ve never 
felt before.

Lips gently
touching with
a soft kiss,
seals the pact
being shared 
between you.

Two soulmates,
brought by chance
together
and their faith
promises 
from this day
forward to
share their lives.

Welcoming
the sunrise,
as a new
beginning,
in carving 
a genuine
well lived life.

Sunset brings
day’s closure,
holding hands,
strengthening 
over time
the bond you
created,
bestowing
gifts for your
tomorrows.

With each day,
its own gift
of blessings,
being joined
together
to explore
all of its
offerings.

Remaining 
until God
calls upon 
you to come  
to his home,
in heaven 
on your last 
final day.

As you pledged,
in the eyes
of our own
Creator,
until death 
do you part.

Leaving both 
legacies,
forever
shine brightly
much like the
stars twinkling
in the night’s
darkest sky.

 

 

SHADOWS OF SENTRIES WHISPERING THEIR WISDOM

I clearly remember the very first time it happened,
It was my very last summer before I started school,
Yet, as I write this, it began more than fifty years ago.

I took to my bedtime with my usual routine and prayer,
Once my head hit the pillow, I was asleep or so I thought,
My surreal experience left me in doubt to this day.

I laid awake in the middle of the summer’s brisk night,
When I replayed the events of my carefree summer’s day,
Dark silhouettes of two older men surfaced by my side.

I tried focusing my eyes to the night’s darkness by blinking,
But their figures dissolved into the blackness of night,
Leaving me questioning of what I had just encountered.

Sometime later in my childhood, sitting with my parents,
I shared my dream while we flipped through old photo albums,
With each photograph, they had a story or more to share.

Each page of the album brings to life the near distant past,
Illusions of a family reunion stirred my mind,
With the new family I just met through photos and tales.

Many passed away long ago, prior to my own birth,
Those left, struggled living under the dark iron curtain,
Yet, I felt as if I have known them for all my days.

Upon flipping the page, I see familiar faces,
With a puzzled gaze, my eyes fixed on two distinct photos,
Yet In turn, I felt as if their eyes calmly staring back.

Undeniably, the photos were older than I am,
Armed with my questions, I was ready to probe my parents,
From the moment I saw the photo of those two older men.

I tried to find their place in my mind, but my time ran out,
Yet, my curiosity of this phenomenon prevailed,
At the moment my Mom and Dad exposed their identity.

At first, did I hear correctly? they’re my grandfathers?
With an affirmative nod, they continued sharing stories,
I shared, those two older men were my visitors of my night.

They’re the ones peacefully stood as unseen guardians,
Whom often dropped in and stood by the foot of my bed,
When insomnia’s demon robbed me a perfect night’s sleep.

Not just once or twice, but each time I met uncertainty,
Not just adversity faced, but life’s major milestones,
Not all the time, just when I needed solace and support.

Shielding the threshold of sleep and keepers of all my dreams,
I no longer feared but welcomed and embraced their spirits,
As omens of faith and promise of all will be okay.

As I became less young and took the rites of adulthood,
Their unbroken presence assured they weren’t childhood dreams,
Nor just photographs transforming into reality.

Arriving when I’m half asleep, I heard their whisper,
With each sharing words of wisdom in their native tongue,
As if it was only meant for my ears to hear their say.

In times of my greatest need, they were always there with me,
With time, their presence brought both relief and reassurance,
Leaving me with an uncanny calmness and inner peace.

Once their message was spoken, they fade with the night’s darkness,
Leaving their wisdom, woven in my tapestry of life,
A sense of serenity greeted me with the morning’s sun.

Both gone for many years before my time, but not forgotten,
Their images forever frozen and sealed in my mind,
Weaving fragments of their cloth in who I am today.

Learning the shadows following me weren’t just mine alone,
But those of my grandfather’s passing their light of wisdom,
Reminding me, they’re sentries of my family’s lineage.