THE DAY WE FAILED AS A COMMUNITY

Perhaps in my excitement to read anything and everything in Grade One, I asked my older cousin MariAnne what a bumper sticker on her father’s car meant, “Guns Don’t Kill People. People Kill People.” Her father, an avid hunter and active member in the Hungarian Hunters and Anglers Association, always had a locked case on the wall filled with hunting rifles/shotguns on display throughout the basement of their Toronto home. MariAnne explained to my six year-old self, that guns cannot harm people on their own but could only cause harm in the hands of bad people. I always had a one-sided respect for any type of gun, I didn’t like them then and am even more mortified by them as an adult. Possibly, the naivety as a child I didn’t fully comprehend the details of the consequences of ownership places on an owner. Many of my friends would describe me as a constitutionalist, as much as I fear these weapons, I believe the right to keep and bear arms as described in our Bill of Rights. On many levels, the meaning and scope of this right has been described as among the most contested of the rights, under the Bill of Rights.

On February 14, 2018, another tragic terroristic massacre occurred in my not so distant backyard. Three staff members and 14 high school students lost their lives due to a past student armed with an AR-15. Sadly, none of those victims left home that morning to never return home to their loved ones. Over the week following the incident, fingers pointed at the family, the school, law enforcement agencies, protective services and wherever a connection could be drawn. On what was supposed to be a day of sharing love became a day of horrible hostility and a terrific tragedy. This day will forever be ingrained as the day we failed as a community. We not only failed to protect, but we failed to be involved and ultimately take time to listen and see all the diminutive clues over time.

I realize my comments are quite generic, yet I hope I made some points and people stop wondering where we went wrong. Prayers bring peace and comfort as our politicians bring broken promises. Educators, law enforcement and positive role models in our community are spread thin physically and even emotionally preventing them from interjecting into the lives of our youth today. Today’s youth bring baggage beyond the limits of their age and carry with them burdens, worries and stresses of which generations past never encountered. They are filled with overwhelming knowledge and experiences that prevents them from being children first and take time to grow up.

· God has been told too often to leave our lives;
· Teachers no longer have respect, nor do adults with each other;
· Parents yearn to be best friends with their children and relive a lost period of their own lives;
· Violence in movies and video games are the teachings of a new reality;
· Some drugs substances are deemed acceptable though illegal;
· Morals, values, ethics are blurred or entirely gone;
· We are no longer are we friendly with our neighbors and know or children’s friends;
· Politicians are re-elected to endless terms and do very little representation of their electorates;

As a society, today everyone is racing to doom and not slowing down to enjoy the moment, but speeding up to the next thing to do, just to keep up with their nemesis neighbor or co-worker. Always rushing to compete for the bigger and better, to the point never is ever good enough. Striving for more and perfection in an instant gratification society is creating more harm than good to our communities as a whole. Its time to make putting a priority in being in a child’s life, not handing them the next whatever, or what have you or over scheduling their blocks of time to just keep quiet or busy.

Even the least common denominator of simple items in our lives cannot be bought nor can time be rewound for a do-over. Children need to be nurtured, talked with in open question conversations and be a part of their life – see who they hang out with, hear their fears, celebrate simple things and most importantly share your time. Take the time to be part of their life rather than throwing them the next thing on their “I want - I need list” because so they don’t feel left out or feel as they are second best and unprivileged. As adults in their lives we need to stop chanting, “when I have kids, they’ll have all that I didn’t and I won’t be as strict or like my parents.” My life growing up, I didn’t have everything my friends did, but I had something more - I had parents who cared and where involved in all that I did and were the foundation and cornerstone of my life. These provided me tools of having a healthy attitude, attain higher education and have a balanced successful life.

It’s not about prayer needing to return to our schools nor is it arming our educators with weapons, nor is it about making weapons illegal or providing more in-depth background checks, nor is because you’re a democrat or republican. The time has come to providing seamless, transparent discussions with open minds to fixing the problems and obstacles, with hopes of step moving forward each day. Culminating one day realizing an intentional change has come forth. There’s only so much one person can do, but pulling together, united, we can do so much more, than if that one person tried to disentangle this complex web alone. Its only then we realize, we once again, can be a community by not trying to be left or right, as the only thing left is to make the right decisions which effect generations to come.