LIFE HAS NO MULLIGAN

Another year closing,
ruminating all those
“to-do” lists with many
unfinished business and
incomplete assignments.
Thinking, will I finish?

Only a prayer of hope,
can clear those outstanding
items on those damn lists.
I keep going over
and over all the tasks,
hoping something will change.

Yet, they remain untouched,
as I ran out of time
when the calendar’s date
showed today’s final day,
December thirty first.
Another year, now done.

Those incomplete items
now carry the burden,
towards a new “to-do” list,
brought into the new year,
leaving fragments of time
and sense of urgency.

Today’s a gift given,
hence, why it’s called, present,
there’s no rewind button,
nor a fast forward one.
Just a replay in all
my memories to date.

Living to my best life,
what I was raised to do,
even with obstacles
are thrown in my path’s way.
I keep my head focused,
and learn from their lessons.

It’s then I realize,
when life truly doesn’t
offer a mulligan.
Take each day as it comes,
with the blessings granted,
knowing faith will prevail.

 

MY TIME STOOD STILL AS YEARS PASSED BY

I come from a stock of hearty men and women,
who worked hard, earned their keep and made a new life too,
from this country offering opportunity.

Fighting against all odds, no family, no home,
no trade or job, just obstinance to do better,
a new language, new customs, and a new culture.

They found their freedom, lost in their own motherland,
with the hopes their next generation does better,
finding and living their own American dream.

Without any rhythm or tune, I danced and sung,
I still managed to do so being blessed with,
a brain, two left feet and a voice carrying no tune.

I am and I have always been called an old soul,
going as far back as to my earliest years,
it’s only now, I see, my body, catching up.

I stand before you at near fifty-six years young,
never did I think I would have achieved success,
in a variety of aspects of my life.

In my time, I earned a post-graduate degree,
pursuing my interest working with children,
with a side step into administrative roles.

I carried the work ethic of all my ancestor’s,
pride and go beyond my best in all that I do,
even when my time stood still and the years passed by.

With it came vast changes, this was my constant.
I remained resilient to all being thrown my way,
stayed tenacious in learning everything anew.

Retiring after just over four decades,
being blessed with a great legacy filled career,
but I still carry pieces of my childhood.

Yet, I remain a social introvert coupled
with a healthy dose of innate curiosity,
leaving only my footprints for others to follow.

 

 

 

 

 

 

HOSTAGE TO THE SEASON

Another 
holiday season, 
snuck upon us, 
with Thanksgiving passed, 
Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza 
and other December holidays 
just around the corner.

Children’s 

wish lists
grow faster than 
their hands can write, 
or tap on tablets today. 
Adults, 
take deep breaths, 
watching their debt 
exponentially grow 
as wish lists sprout.

From having 
the best next fad 
to the latest and greatest 
of what influencers propel and tout 
their followers as the next best thing. 
For their wallets, 
they will be taken hostage 
by the holidays pressure, yet,  
with not a ransom to be paid. 

Magic of the holidays, 
lost their sparkle, 
bells no longer jingle, 
colors not so bright, 
as once seen through 
an innocent child’s eyes.

All that is seen,
a sea of materialistic 
must have gifts, 
anxiously waiting 
to be torn apart 
in a fleeing 
moment’s 
excitement.

Watching 
children’s faces, 
smiles turned upside down, 
into a long drawn out frown. 
Expectations deflated, 
with the very first gift. 
many more waiting, 
with none enough. 
It’s with their 
last hope 
the final gift 
will be the one, 
they begged for 
with the hypnotic trance 
of every commercial played 
on television, radio and internet, 
every influencer’s stressing 
the must haves and the 
can’t be withouts and 
finished off with 

a trip to the mall.

The grown-ups, 
plant earliest memories into 
innocent children’s minds 
of holiday traditions, 
mystic secrets, 
secret myths,  
holiday gift giving 
and all the other magic 
the holiday season brings. 

What’s been forgotten, 
reasons for the season; 
gathering generations, 
family sharing stories, 
and creating 
many more 
new memories, 
celebrating traditions 
from generations past 
and eating seasonal delectables. 

By bedtime, 
children 
long lost interest 
in their shiny new toys, 
while,
adults long for a 
restful night of sleep,
hoping they fulfilled 
all their children’s 
wish lists and dreams. 

Yet, 
spending 
endless hours, 
of remembering, 
memories created, 
gathering together, 
seasonal flavors, 
are now nothing
more than
nostalgic memories, 
shared and spread
over generations.

Beyond the wrapping paper,  
beyond the gifts forgotten,  
what lingers is family; 
young and old 
gathering together, 
stories carried 
like lanterns spreading light, 
flavors mastered and passed, 
from a kitchen of yesterday,
to kitchen of today and
memories stitched together, 
like the warmth,
of a homemade quilt
pieced together across
multiple generations 
stitched together 
on this day.

In the evening’s quiet,

after the holidays frenzy, 
love of family and 
nostalgic memories 
remain as 
the only gift 
that does not fade, 
it’s the one that endures, 
with hopes children 
will treasure and
carry forward, 
long after
today’s fads, 
just simply 
fade away. 

 

A MANIFESTO OF LESSONS LEARNED IN MY FIRST YEAR OF RETIREMENT

One year ago, December 13, 2024, I loaded my car with the last of my baggage. Closing the hatch, I saw more than forty years of my career at the YMCA of South Florida packed inside. For decades I lived by the mantra, “Life gets in the way of living.” Now, it was my turn to live. When I arrived home and began unpacking, reality set in — suddenly, it all became too real. Each box, each piece of baggage was like listening to a seashell whispering stories of my career: triumphs celebrated, doubts endured, disappointments faced. Together, I painted a canvas of sunrise on the beach, welcoming the next phase of my life. It is hard to believe a year has already passed, and how quickly it did. Today I celebrate not only my first year of retirement, but also the start of Chapter 56 — a new journey unfolding, another year of lessons learned, and a life well lived.

Foremost, I want to thank those friends who became nothing less than family who check in on me, hang out with me, invite me out for a meal or something to do. For those further away who send me an email or call just to tell me they are thinking of me or update me with their own world is just as much of a heartfelt sign of the relationships I made. I declined more invitations than I accepted. I just needed and wanted time to decompress. This was much like planning for a vacation and then returning to unpack heavy suitcase of emotions, a backpack filled with souvenirs of stress and a carry-on with feelings and other garments cluttering my brain. While unpacking, I remind myself to do better this upcoming year accepting more invites. Although I do not miss the stress or politics of a full-time career, I do miss the people, the footprints I left, the impact and routine of having such a rewarding career.

Below, I share my top ten lessons I learned this first year of retirement. I realize a lot of these overlap and seem similar, but I felt it was important and compelled to break them into their respective categories.

1. Health is the True Wealth

Physical and mental well-being underpin everything else. Check your physical, mental and emotional well-being regularly. If something feels off – don’t be afraid to seek professional help. Let go of your pride and there is no shame asking for help with things you can no longer or want to do. Keep your sleep schedule regular as much as possible, your body will thank you for it. Enjoy eating in moderation to keep your body, mind and soul well fueled for optimal performance. Find time to focus on physical and mental well-being exercises daily. I aim to try a new recipe to cook several times a week to avoid having to eat out as often.

• Lesson: Invest in exercise, diet, and mindfulness. Protect your body, mind and spirit, they are the foundation of everything else.

2. Purpose Matters More Than Leisure

Endless free time can feel empty without meaning. Keep a schedule or agenda. It is important to keep focused on doing things to keep you busy as much as you like to do or not to do. Don’t leave things to chance to happen otherwise you will face huge voids in time. Time doesn’t offer refunds for unused moments, take calculated risks to try something new. That something should be something you always wanted to try but found every excuse not to or time didn’t allow for it. I am still vetting volunteer opportunities but have fully dedicated more time to my writing.

• Lesson: Find new anchors—volunteering, hobbies, mentoring, or creative projects. Fill your days with meaning, not just minutes.

3. Routine is Freedom

Too much unstructured time can lead to boredom. Find at least one thing to keep you grounded or look forward to every day. This structure or routine helps keep your day moving at a steady pace and with intrinsic moments of accomplishment. I find starting my day with a workout at my local YMCA or go for a daily walk in my neighborhood starts my day off in a good mood. I try to schedule two uninterrupted hours to read or write my leads for my blog or complete a post for my blog every day. The satisfaction of having time to read for pleasure or write is not only a catharsis but has been a dream for me to be able to dedicate more time to my passions.

• Lesson: Build a weekly rhythm—exercise, social time, creative pursuits. Anchor your day with structure as it creates space for joy.

4. Small Joys Shine Bright

Fulfillment often comes from everyday pleasures, not grand adventures. The simple things of taking time to have a conversation with a neighbor where previously was a quick hello and good-bye when I was working is in itself its weight in gold. Finding joy in simple things also means enjoying the beauty of things you missed as life races by. Now, that you downshifted to a slower gear, take time to enjoy the details you missed.

• Lesson: Happiness hides in the ordinary, take a moment to pause, notice and let those simple moments shine. Time is yours now, there’s no need to be hurried and take on more than you can carry.

5. Social Connection is Essential

Once you complete your career journey, the dynamics of your social setting changes dramatically different to what you have become accustomed to. Men as they get older, unlike their counterparts, women, do not have the quality or quantity of established friendships. With less face-to-face interaction and less variety of people engaged in daily dialogues the significant drop in people can be daunting at best and depressing at its worst. Work for most, often provided daily interaction; leaving retirement isolating. I have yet to find a routine in retirement nor does boredom ever fill my day. I am challenged to make and meet new friends. I tried a few social events but find most are more tied to their phones or the group is loosely bound to the groups purpose. Being a social introvert, large groups intimidate me and drain my emotional battery as a result I value my space to recharge. I may not be the first to make plans, but I am quite aware I need to broaden my social circle. 

• Lesson: Prioritize friendships, family, and community involvement. Friendships and community are lifelines, nurture them with intention to grow and thrive.

6. Identity Needs Rebuilding

Careers defined who you were; retirement requires redefining yourself. I didn’t realize how much my career defined who I evolved to become. I was Robert the payroll guy most recently and to those who’ve been on my journey I am Robert the grant writer/child care trainer or as everyone knew Robert the guy in the Y polo. To some who knew me more intimately, I was an only child who dedicated his life to his career and helping my mother being a caretaker first for my father as he battled numerous health issues until his passing. Presently, I help my mother through health challenges she faced since my father’s passing. Despite her self-sufficiency and capacity to recover and rebound stronger, I keep her grounded and provide support as necessary. My identity in retirement seemed to diminish as did the faces of people I come in contact with daily. Lastly, everyone seemed to know Robert the storyteller who had a parable of life to share to those willing to lend an ear. I am still the storyteller but to a different audience both in person and on my blog. I try to keep an open mind to trying new roles and new adventures. 

• Lesson: Explore new roles—learner, traveler, creator, mentor. Retirement is reinvention, explore and rediscover the new you.

7. Partnerships Shift

Retirement changes dynamics with spouses, family, and friends. Being a single, never married man, it is easy to get lost in the crowd of friends who are married and seeing their own children going to college and some families welcoming grandchildren. It is important to keep your head above the crowds and realize your identity may have changed but the person within still is the same person whose grown over the years. With retirement, I changed as the number of people who I came in contact with in daily. Much like with the pandemic, a new social order and communicating with others had to evolve and become acclimated to. Remember, communication works both ways and is rarely one sided. Force yourself to keep in touch with those you care about to keeping in touch with. They too get busy and will appreciate you calling to catch up with you. It gives them a break from their own stress and reality.

• Lesson: Communicate openly and renegotiate roles with empathy. Relationships evolve, meet with open dialogue, empathy, and sensitivity.

8. Budget Reality Check

Retiring early was a blessing but it also has its own set of challenges. With planning to handle the stresses of health, finances, social life, etc., can become manageable and even enjoyable. Even with planning, expenses (healthcare, home repairs, inflation) can sneak up and surprise you. But mitigating your risks and remembering each day you’re not pushing up daisies is a blessing. As I said prior, time doesn’t offer refunds, don’t waste a moment – it’s a gift, called the present for a reason. Make it count.

• Lesson: Track spending closely and adjust expectations early. Budget wisely, freedom depends on foresight.

9. Flexibility Beats Perfection

The dream retirement rarely unfolds exactly as imagined. Most of us retirement is not all about sipping adult beverages with small umbrellas on some tropical island with a hostess bringing endless delectable treats at every turn of your head. Aim high in your dreams yet keep it realistic to your budget, your health and your ability to fulfill your dream. Nothing defeats self-esteem more than setting a bar you cannot reach.

• Lesson: Stay adaptable and embrace unexpected opportunities. Dream boldly but bend in the winds of reality.

10. It’s a Transition, Not an Ending

Retirement is less a finish line than a new chapter. Allow yourself to decompress and if your career was very consuming and fulfilling even allow yourself to grieve. Simply, if it was more than just a job, this is even more true. All that you invested: time, effort, education and a lot of you into your position is much like a loss when it comes to an end. After you walk out the door for the very last time as an employee, especially after a long tenure, your emotions may consume you. It is perfectly normal to own to be sad, doubtful, excited and worried - separately and sometimes all at once. All is ok. Allow yourself time to decompress and accept your decision.

• Lesson: Treat it as a journey of discovery, not a static state that started when your career ended. Retirement is a new beginning, just waiting to be embraced and welcomed.

This morning, at my happy place, the beach, I welcomed another day’s start, celebrating one year retired and preparing to close out Chapter 55. Today, I pack my suitcase once more, not with stress or deadlines, but with joy, wisdom, and dreams. I watch the waves carry away the weight of old routines, leaving shells of new memories scattered in the sand, waiting to be collected. I walk barefoot into the surf, I remain grateful for the past and hopeful for what lies ahead. Retirement is not the end of the tide but the beginning of reshaping the shore. This is my manifesto: retirement is freedom, and I choose to walk boldly into the horizon, packing only what I can carry for my next journey.

 

 

A CAROUSEL OF BECOMING

With its flashing bright lights,
music blaring odd tunes,
it’s colorful horses,
decorated zebras
and other embellished
great creatures found in zoos.

They follow each other,
in an endless loop,
of a circular chase,
going nowhere quick.

I wonder if it’s worth
two tickets to ride here,
aware of what I see
but blind to what may lurk
behind the song and dance,
of this fair’s attraction.

The skeptic within me,
expected not a thing,
but a petty paycheck
covering the little,
big high school expenses
a teenager faces.

He talked all but minutes.
Explaining all the rules,
before telling me that,
“You are hired starting
tomorrow, July first.”
I was taken aback.

I accepted the job,
as he handed me forms
to complete, like tickets
needed before riding.

He shared all the glitter,
albeit not of gold,
but of screaming riders,
racing down crowded halls
on their way to find the
next best carnival ride.

He began to tell me,
“Seeing all their smiles,
hearing all their laughter,
is in its own reward.”

Then went on to tell me,
“It’s not just about the
paycheck but the impact
you will leave on their souls.”
By now his words, a blur,
I waited for my turn.

With a bit of self-doubt,
not truly knowing what to expect,
I boarded with doubt but,
with enthusiasm.

Noting I only brought,
my determination,
loyalty and willing
to give my all and more.

I changed seats a few times
before my ride’s last spin.
the colors stayed vibrant,
and the music still played.

Coming to a complete stop,
I exit with one last look,
it seemed like nothing changed,
but after many turns,
I noticed everything
about me changed that day.

All because of a chance
given to me by that
gentle soul who believed
in offering me more.

 

AN IMPROMPTU JOURNEY AND A SPONTANEOUS FRIENDSHIP

Retelling tales, sparking curiosity without filter or rhyme,
By lifting our voices through laughter and experiences,
Deep breathes and nervous giggles dissolve any mishap.

Driving highways towards destinations unknown,
Arriving for a night’s stay, just after sunset,
Night welcomes time for nourishment and a quick nap.

Inviting casual morning conversations,
About where to go, but not making the day’s plans,
Leaving it all to chance with a dash of intention.

Gradually the first excursion is within sight,
Anticipation and excitement quickly grow,
Into racing childlike heart beats and bellyaching laughs.

Chatting, deciding where to go, what to see first,
Intending to seize all of the day’s offerings,
As if the day’s activities had been well-rehearsed.

Taking our time, as if it were planned choreographs,
His voice never pretentious, he shares what he knows,
Explaining how relationships aren’t created overnight.

A bond which is built on trust and occasional disagreement,
Welcoming friendship, enduring both our lifespans,
Through tales sparking curiosity and candid revelations.

In talks of our next journey, we forego a map,
When planning a new adventure around the same time, yet,
Knowing a road trip just wouldn’t be the same, if done alone.

In a hurried instant, our journey is under-wrap,
With a shared promise of faith and no pretenses,
Guaranteeing a road trip will be due in one year’s time.