LOOKING BACK ONLY SHOWS ME HOW FAR I’VE COME

In the last couple months, I found those closest to me have been extremely thoughtful with words of thoughts and prayers. While these same people are the hardest for me to reach out to personally acknowledge their reflections.  

Ironically, it was easy to hide behind texts, e-mails, chats, Facebook, avoid phone calls and reading cards of first, support and now, sympathy. I am only now finding strength to read and listen to words of wisdom, comfort, love and support.

As I close Chapter 46 tonight...I reflect on a year filled with as many blessings and lessons.

I…  

Visited with friends a far and caught up,
Appreciated lifelong friendships can pick up where they left off, regardless of years past.

Saw some friends move further away,
Felt heartbroken to see some move physically away,
while others where moved further away emotionally.

Explored and adventured in another city,
Walked the neighborhoods where my parents lived when I was first born,
Felt the magic of Hollywood and the mammoth City of Los Angeles.

Found myself and stepped out of my comfort zone,
Spoke up for myself when I disagreed or felt I was being taken advantage of.        

Leaped over hurdles and breakdown my fears,
It was just a lot of little things, helped me overcome and conquer.

Experienced emotional pain of losing my father,
Taught me losing someone so pivotal, makes my time, my worst enemy.

Made one of the hardest decisions of my life,
Carrying out my Dad’s last wishes as his life was ending.

Celebrated new found friends and reconnected with many more than I count,
Whether work, academic alumni or others – I hope we can stay in touch.

Witnessed there is still beauty with each sunrise,
Comforted me knowing God helps me through pain by bringing me peace. 

Tested the bounds of friendship in my darkest hours,
Found my true friends continued to reach out to me and be there.

Found beauty in the smallest, simplest things,
Hugs and smiles, beautiful days, act of random kindness, laughing kids, catching up with friends.

There are strangers filled with compassion, and even more who must be angels on earth,
Finding good people everywhere and some who are just beyond amazing in their devotion to their calling to what they do.         

Expressed my opinion on heated conversations,
Stood strong on my beliefs and accepted some may disagree and choose to end the friendship.

Made better decisions towards my health,
Stood in the eyes of stress and defied most of those demons,
took time to lose more weight, lose more body fat and to exercise.

Cried more in the last month than I laughed,
Found strength and lost it in my weaknesses,
For all I’ve been through in life a lesson learned early on was that I own all my feelings and never to apologize for who I am or my emotions.

It definitely was a chapter proving once again tenacity and resilience continue to stand by me today, just as they have in the past. 

Reminding me again,
  
“Yesterday is a canceled check;
tomorrow is only a promissory note;
but today is the only cash you have – invest and spend wisely!”  

My guess, I will start tomorrow with "Good morning..." as I am filled with gratitude to see another sunrise and begin filling Chapter 47...

OUR SPOKEN WORDS MATTER AS MUCH AS SILENT VOICES

Being a first generation American, I proudly hail my right, my responsibility and ultimately my duty to vote. It is something I don’t take lightly, as in our short, rich history many Americans fought for our freedoms and lost their lives for our country, the United States of America. I realize I am beginning to sound very cliché as I write but I make no apologies for the words I chose to use.

I find myself to be much like a private investigator when it comes to campaigns, I take time to look at each of the candidates across the definitive lines of republicans, democrats and independents and see where their agendas, wishes and direction is poised to move us as a community, state or nation. Once I determine who I wish to support, the one coming closest to my own personal values and the direction I would like to see us go in the upcoming years. The 2016 Presidential Campaign I found my choices of potential candidates became eliminated with each debate round and forced me to reanalyze and reselect the next possible best choice.

This campaign season appeared to be much longer than most but probably really wasn’t. With a lot of strong opinions held strong from start to finish and the constant bombardment everywhere you went, it just never seemed to end. For what we’ve seen during this campaign, it was a season filled with everything what our country is against and nothing about relevant issues. My opinion, it became nothing better than an elementary school popularity contest at the beginning of the primary season and ending as a playground brawl when the final debates and the campaigning concluded. Sadly, as Americans we are the ones who got hurt and dragged through this whole ordeal by being subject to such cynicism and negativity between the two top candidates.

When I left through my door this morning, I knew I was going to do the right thing when I got to the precinct polling station. I believe, like all other Americans, I voted for the best candidate who best lined up with what I desire in our future. Many may criticize my choice and are ready to tell me how my choice will ultimately destroy our nation through selfish deals or a nuclear war and it retrograde us fifty plus years back into the past. I will continue to stand by your right to voice your opinion which can only be heard by your voting your choice or advocating for your beliefs. The aftermath of the election will speak simply and in volumes of the workings of our democracy and will allow us the right to voice our choice.

As tonight’s poll’s close, the anxiety levels of many have escalated beyond anyone’s expectations. Both those who we cheered and for those we jeered will ultimately leave one side elated while the other will be devastated. It is still imperative to note, our country is still great despite not always having the proudest history, we’ve always managed to progress and become a stronger nation. The elected President, will ultimately be the face of our country in front of a global audience. As Americans, we have a choice to make, to be one Nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all or we can be show we are not one nation united, but one nation divided and fail and be the laughed at by a global audience.

I challenge everyone the day after the election, to be a little kinder to your neighbor, co-worker or friend and to make the world a better place and bury the spew against someone who disagrees with you. Those of you defriending your friends on social media because of their political views, I hope it's only there and not in real time. I can only hope the bonds of friendship can last over time and not be tested with what was a difference in opinion. Find a way to pay it forward with kindness to all. Use your dissatisfaction or elation of the results of the election to continue to fight for your beliefs and actively participate and be an agent of change by sitting on various boards, committees etc of your political choosing and beliefs. After all, I’d like to believe we are first Americans and partisan second.

When we wake up tomorrow morning, history will have been made regardless of who wins. Wednesday morning will be like every other weekday morning, as if nothing changed. With a coffee in hand and hurry to go on with our routine, so we won’t be late to our next destination, our lives will go on pretty much the same. Then once we settle down into our daily grind, we can put our sparring arms down, heed to being a country who tolerates, respects and embraces diversity and then ultimately begin to heal as a nation. As I tuned in to watch the coverage of the election, I already heard talk about the next election season, leaving a nation soon forgetting the decisiveness and differences we just left behind. The only reminisce of 2016 will be the meritocracy and stories of what brought us together, leaving us right where we were last time this story was told, only the day before yesterday.

As for whom I voted for, well may be it’s the right person who is left and the one left will be the right one.

… now back to your regularly scheduled programming.

CASH PAYS MY BILLS BUT REINVESTING THE DIVIDENDS MAKES ME RICH

In my role as association payroll administrator for my YMCA I often equate it being that of housekeeper. As amusing as it may seem, the striking similarity between the two positons is rather uncanny. As long as people are paid accurately and timely, rarely does anyone ever acknowledge the payroll administrator. It is often a thankless job that has a rather routine, repetitious and mundane task which every two weeks starts anew. 

The housekeeper with a predictable routine of mopping floors, cleaning windows and mirrors, dusting shelves and furnishings and keeping a facility clean, following a prescribed routine to ensue the entire facility is continually cleaned. Often these individuals are taken for granted as they blend in with the walls, floors and furnishings of the facility. Members, volunteers and staff often pass them without even an acknowledgement of a simple “Hello.” as they go about their business keeping our facilities as unsoiled despite the heavy wear and tear they face daily. Ironically, the moment something is found to have been missed or unclean, everyone all the sudden swarms the poor housekeeper to alert them of the item needing immediate attention. All of the sudden they become the most valuable player for Team YMCA, and not necessarily in the most popular way. Once the situation is remedied, the housekeeper retreats back to their unsung hero status and continue making their routine rounds without much fanfare. 

Now back to my position as the payroll administrator… The moment someone’s pay is involved and is not what they expected, my phone rings off the hook and e-mails pop-up non-stop and supervisors charging into my office expecting answers of what went wrong in their employee’s pay. All of the sudden I am on stage and the main center ring, all eyes are on me today’s circus performance. Some staff will tell you I perform magic, feats of wonder and can pacify the wildest and loudest staff. Though I never claim to have any of these traits, I am pleased staff believe I do have these abilities. I was taught by my own mentors, honest mistakes, an error or even oversight are part of the human condition and are excellent teaching moments when developing staff. It takes a lot to upset me or make me stray from my calm and even-keel demeanor. Once the problem has been deescalated and resolved, I too, retreat back to my introverted self, going about my daily tasks. I am fortunate, I can retreat to my office and out of sight until the next show.

The first payroll of summer programs is always filled with dynamic energy. More than half the workforce of the association changes a combination of family centers, departments and jobs from the Friday after school ends to the immediate following Monday when summer programs begin. All program directors scurrying to make final changes to staffing structures, daily schedules and setting up for the first day of their programs and feverishly checking with human resources and payroll their staff are properly set up for proper positions, pay rates and program sites. Behind the sanity of their offices, the payroll and the human resource staff equally hurry to make final preparations of ensuring all the behind the scenes setups are seamlessly completed. At the blink of an eye, time is up and everyone is on stage for the first day of summer programs; families asking questions and dropping off participants, participants aimlessly wandering to their respective groups and staff familiarizing themselves with their names and new schedules.

On an ideally good year, the first pay day of the summer programs is the second Friday after the programs began. Supervisors have a full two weeks to complete their payroll timely and accurately and afforded the opportunity to make sure all positions, pay rates and program sites are all correct prior to approving their payroll. As a previous supervisor shared a career t-shirt’s slogan with me “my job as payroll administrator is to do precision guess work based on unreliable data provided by those of questionable knowledge.” I tend to agree with this, as my job relies heavily on other staff to process information presented to them by the staff and then process people’s pay based on the aforementioned premise.

Now that I have given you a visual of comparing my role as payroll administrator to a housekeeper, you are undoubtedly wondering what the comparison of these positions has to do about anything related to the YMCA or my journey. Even more so, when you look at the the title; cash, return on investment and dividend, I hope it stirs your thought process just a tad. The foundation of the analogy between the housekeeper and the payroll administrator brings to a point of a YMCA mission moment I encountered several years ago. My YMCA has been a recipient of a grant from a specifically designated taxing district to generate dollars for children’s programs. The grant, STEP (Supported Training and Employment Program) provides community based employment opportunities for high school students with disabilities as interns. 

With the support of a job coach, the students are able to gain practical pre-employment skills such as interviewing, proper dress and hygiene and completing paperwork and ultimately being placed in an entry level job during a summer internship to learn specific job skills. As payroll administrator, I’ve seen many of these high students become interns every summer, as they come through the corporate office coming in to receive their pre-employment background and drug screens, complete on-boarding paperwork and finding out their job placement. While I work in my office, I hear the humming and chattering as they fill the office with their eagerness, excitement and enthusiasm. I always took a special note of these interns’ names and their job location.   

Ok, ok, ok … back to my STEP interns… 

Finally, pay day Friday has arrived. Current staff’s funds are direct deposited into their chosen bank accounts while new staff get checks. Checks received are mailed out to staff; however, this one occasion I held on to the checks of the STEP interns. I shared with my supervisor and their job coaches the importance to me, to have the ability to deliver their first pay check to their job sites to present it to them. For the majority of these students, this is their first job and I wanted to share and be part of the excitement and be able to present them their first pay check. 

Each of the interns were excited to receive their first pay check; however, one in particular will always be one that will be unforgettable, engraved permanently to my heart. The student intern as described by his job coach,

“Jonathan was emotionally charged with ecstatic enthusiasm when he received his acceptance to the STEP Intern program for the summer.” 

As the job coach went to get Jonathan from his task of impeccably lining up canned goods, with the labels ever so perfectly facing forward, I could hear him stomping down the grocery store’s aisle with excited anticipation of receiving his first paycheck. I felt I was seeing an animated character coming into reality, Jonathan, was filled with “can-do” attitude filled with enjoyment of pleasing both his job coach, employer and himself. 

His job coach’s vivid, accurate description came to life once I met Jonathan. I was introduced to Jonathan as “the man who made sure you got paid for the work you do.” As I was preparing to present to his first paycheck he asked if he could do FACETIME™ with his Dad. I couldn’t refuse, as I didn’t want to diminish his spirits. Dad, unfortunately was not receiving the call and he proceeded to ask if he could try his Mom. His mom answered within two rings and Jonathan’s elation escalated to euphoria surpassing his excitement from a few moments ago. Mom spurred and added to the excitement of the moment. Before I knew it, I was fully entangled into this emotional milestone and celebrating along with Jonathan’s moment to shine for the next few minutes. 

Walking away from the moment, I look over my shoulder only to see Jonathan, his Mother and his job coach continue their FACETIME™ as their faces become shadows, I fade away into the distance. This time, I didn’t have my office to retreat to but left Jonathan to savor his moment to be in the center ring. I was able to gracefully exit stage right and today’s paycheck may pay my bills but reinvesting the dividends will make me rich in ways wealth cannot measure. 

Well, as to why compare it to a housekeeper? … because of lessons my parents imparted on to me as I began entering adulthood. While growing up and contemplating what I want to be, I was always pushed to do my best and take pride in all that I do. Take time to acknowledge and treat everyone with respect, irregardless of who they are. With a whispering reminder that even the housekeeper, working behind the scenes, is an important contributor to the greater good, as they go about their daily routine.

THE EXTROVERTED ME: OPENING MYSELF IN SOCIAL MEDIA

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