December 24, 2016

In the last couple months, I found those closest to me have been extremely thoughtful with words of thoughts and prayers. While these same people are the hardest for me to reach out to personally acknowledge their reflections.

Ironically, it was easy to hide behind texts, e-mails, chats, Facebook, avoid phone calls and reading cards of first, support and now, sympathy. I am only now finding strength to read and listen to words of wisdom, comfort, love and support.

As I close Chapter 46 tonight...I reflect on a year filled with as many blessings and lessons.

I…

Visited with friends a far and caught up,
Appreciated lifelong friendships can pick up where they left off, regardless of years past.

Saw some friends move further away,
Felt heartbroken to see some move physically away,
while others where moved further away emotionally.

Explored and adventured in another city,
Walked the neighborhoods where my parents lived when I was first born,
Felt the magic of Hollywood and the mammoth City of Los Angeles.

Found myself and stepped out of my comfort zone,
Spoke up for myself when I disagreed or felt I was being taken advantage of.

Leaped over hurdles and breakdown my fears,
It was just a lot of little things, helped me overcome and conquer.

Experienced emotional pain of losing my father,
Taught me losing someone so pivotal, makes my time, my worst enemy.

Made one of the hardest decisions of my life,
Carrying out my Dad’s last wishes as his life was ending.

Celebrated new found friends and reconnected with many more than I count,
Whether work, academic alumni or others – I hope we can stay in touch.

Witnessed there is still beauty with each sunrise,
Comforted me knowing God helps me through pain by bringing me peace.

Tested the bounds of friendship in my darkest hours,
Found my true friends continued to reach out to me and be there.

Found beauty in the smallest, simplest things,
Hugs and smiles, beautiful days, act of random kindness, laughing kids, catching up with friends.

There are strangers filled with compassion, and even more who must be angels on earth,
Finding good people everywhere and some who are just beyond amazing in their devotion to their calling to what they do.

Expressed my opinion on heated conversations,
Stood strong on my beliefs and accepted some may disagree and choose to end the friendship.

Made better decisions towards my health,
Stood in the eyes of stress and defied most of those demons,
took time to lose more weight, lose more body fat and to exercise.

Cried more in the last month than I laughed,
Found strength and lost it in my weaknesses,
For all I’ve been through in life a lesson learned early on was that I own all my feelings and never to apologize for who I am or my emotions.

It definitely was a chapter proving once again tenacity and resilience continue to stand by me today, just as they have in the past.

Reminding me again,

“Yesterday is a canceled check;
tomorrow is only a promissory note;
but today is the only cash you have – invest and spend wisely!”

My guess, I will start tomorrow with "Good morning..." as I am filled with gratitude to see another sunrise and begin filling Chapter 47...

 

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