DIALOGUE WITH MY DAD

December thirteenth, twenty-twenty-five,
Dear beloved father,
I hope you’re able to hear me tonight.

I don’t think I ever said it enough,
I shared, “I love you!”,
But not how blessed I was to be your son.
I didn’t grasp it, until you were gone,
You selflessly lived,
Much of your last days fighting and in pain.

Who am I, to be selfishly wishing,
To have one more day,
Just to share with you all that I became.
I came home to eagerly share stories,
You sat and listened,
Even when I repeated same stories.

It’s not the same, without you being here,
I feel emptiness,
When I visit and see your vacant seat.
Each time I feel the sun’s warmth on my back,
I knew, you were near,
When your aura, embraced me with your presence.

You never really showed your emotions,
Since your own father,
Taught you it’s a sign of a man’s weakness.
From early on, you were taught a man’s role,
Stand strong and stoic,
Holding back all life’s anguish and sorrow.

I recall, you were talking on the phone,
I walked in on you,
As you were sharing something that I did.
For you to share your love or show your pride,
Rarely, you’d spare words,
In the earshot of others so freely.

You may have not showed all your emotions,
Yet, you showed your love,
Through your actions, promises and friendships.
The times we spent together, just us two,
Telling me your tales,
Sharing with me, how to become a man.

Your actions, always lead by example,
I tried to follow,
Just you left some big shoes for me to fill.
Promises made, were promises you kept,
Always kept your word,
Strengthened the bonds you made and created.

You believed in traditional values,
Work hard, loyalty,
Be on time, do your best and be humble.
I absorbed all that you instilled in me,
With just a slight twist,
I adopted it and made it my own.

Through the variety of friends you made,
I see your story,
Being written by those same lifelong friends.
Your story, from fleeing all that you knew,
For something better,
Kept you focused until you found freedom.

One day, a life changing event happened,
It was then you changed,
I saw you cry, even say, “I love you.”
Almost losing what was most important,
From that day forward,
You showed and shared your emotions freely.

You set too many high expectations,
Which I did not know,
Would pay dividends many years later.
Demonstrated by my success today,
Not by past failures,
You stood tall, that’s how I knew I did it.

I came home and went around the corner,
Without you knowing,
I heard you praising me, amongst your friends.
My face turned every shade of red that day,
But I stood taller,
Knowing whatever I did, made you proud.

I remember how you always told me,
Finish your studies,
You hoped I would do better than you did.
Academics challenged me to the core,
But I kept my word,
Firmly stating, “Don’t you ever give up!”

Yet, once I found my niche and my own path,
It got easier,
As long as I stayed current in my studies.
An Associate’s, Bachelor’s and Master’s degree,
All earned with honors,
Opened newly discovered career’s doors.

I always wore my heart on both my sleeves,
When I couldn’t compete,
This one little thing gave the advantage.
It’s what separated me from the rest,
Letting me, be me,
With a part of you, living within me.

My work ethic and my word carried me,
Throughout my career,
Which I held from my first day to my last.
When I was a child, you used to say,
“No one can take your,”
“education or character from you.”

Started in child care and summer camps,
Transferred to corporate,
Finished with marketing, grants and payroll.
Today, one last time, I closed my office,
Over forty years,
At the same non-profit where I began.

I aimed for my best, whether good or bad,
Learned many lessons,
On being better, than my yesterday.
Most my years were truly remarkable,
Lots of memories,
Many friends became more like family.

I often heard your words come from my mouth,
As I supervised,
My own staff in various positions.

Cheering them on or training new job skills,
Or a private chat,
Providing them constructive criticism.

When I left the office building, I sighed,
With mixed emotions,
I held back the tears, without much success.
Another chapter of my life’s journey,
Waits to be written,
Once I greet tomorrow morning’s sunrise.

I’m thinking, I need more than just one day,
To share my story,
My journey was difficult, yet rewarded.
I indeed lived the American dream,
Worked and played hard,
Enjoyed freedoms and opportunities.

Often, I reflect back on all my years,
Success is my debt,
I pay back to you, every day I live.
I can only hope you can see me now,
I’m uniquely me,
Yet, I am much like you, in many ways.

I envision you would stand tall and proud,
When I share with you,
All I accomplished in life and career.
In your terms, you would express your feelings,
Your eyes filled with tears,
Letting new found emotions run freely.

I toast you, with my usual, rum and coke,
Thanks for everything,
Thanks for being you, forever, your son.