December 11, 2024
Author
Preface - This post is 6
of 8 of posts related to my last weeks prior to retiring from the YMCA of South
Florida after just over 40 years.
This post was sent out as an e-mail to all staff the day after my retirement reception. The prose portion is slightly more polished than the impromptu words I shared with those in attendance at the reception. I took portions of this post and with my entire posts “Real Men Don’t Cry” and “A Well Lived Life.” to develop an impromptu simple yet poignant commentary. I concluded my piece with 10 lessons learned over the years, these appeared in what was going to be my rescue speech if I was to be called upon to do a formal speech.
_________________________
Where do
I start…
For the majority of our YMCA staff, many were not even born
when I started my journey back in July 1984, or worse only know me as their
payroll guy. I have become a fixture
here, much like furniture, moved around to different new homes, but always
found my place wherever my feet landed.
This was not because I didn’t do my job well and hoped that I’d find my
calling but because since I can remember, I always had a thirst to learn. Albeit, like most people, I excelled at areas
of interest to me or teachers who found a way to even make my worst subjects
palatable.
The smart ass in me, wants to say, it all started on July 1, 1984 when I was
presented a certificate of completion of my first YMCA Summer Camp Training for
the position as a Junior Counselor. The training was an overnight two-day
training held at what was back then called Greater Hollywood Family YMCA. The days where we only had the old gym (since
been renamed Studio West) and had no indoor pool but we had outdoor space and
tennis courts.
Who would have thought a 10 to 15 hour week working
as a junior counselor the summer before I started high school would fill my
heart, leave an impactful resume, make some great lifelong friends would become
a career lasting for just over 40 years?
Definitely, not me, but I bet a few key people knew. My guess is this is why these key people kept
pushing me to always be better than my yesterday and to this day, remained my
mentors for my entire career and have become nothing less than my extended
family.
But I digress…
This December 10, 2024 evening, a good number of my
YMCA family and friends celebrated me and my contributions to our YMCA of South
Florida. I am beyond humbled and honored
those who took time out of their busy lives to be a part of my retirement
reception and ultimately my journey to celebrate me and my
accomplishments. I am proud to know each
of you and worked with you; whether for a short period of weeks or a lifetime
of decades where most of you knew me to have more hair on crown than I do now. As I close this chapter (more like a huge
anthology) of my over 40 years, I want to thank those you for coming to
celebrate my retirement from the YMCA but feeling I was important enough for
you to take time out of your demanding schedules to send off this payroll guy
with more happy tears and less sad smiles.
I am not really good and at being the center of attention, in fact as
most of you know I do everything physically possible to run away from it.
Here’s to those in attendance, thank you…
Aimee Altschul Fretwell, Alan Montero, Alice-Lydia Bird,
Angelica
Garrido, Barbara Medina (Cardone to me), Bill Arterburn,
Carlos Ramos, Christina (Medina to me) Belis, Gabe Ochoa,
Gaby Robles, Jackie Roca, José E. Piñera, Joseph Gomez,
Julie Wagner, Karla Creque, Karla Salcedo, Kerith Cobourn,
Laura Broderick-Fill, Mark Guthrie, Nial Martin, Nunderia
Adderley,
Okara Gardner, Sheila Sanchez, Shenna Simpson, Sheryl A
Woods,
Susan Feldman, Tara Montenaro, Teresa Spitler, Thomasina Louisaint,
Tongelia
Milton, Wanda Figueroa and William Nunez
Jr
… my apologies if I missed anyone, let me know and
I’ll add you to my list.
I often make light of about my how ironic not one of my
degrees has anything related to accounting, math or numbers for that matter and
the chiefs trust me to make sure, give or take 1750 employees, get paid ever
two weeks and handle anything thrown into payroll realm, taxes, W-2s, social
security gets attention. Simply put, my
job requires a balance of patience, time management skills and thick skin to
get through every day. I am required to
be a good steward of the department and ensuring not only we get paid timely,
but accurately and timely handle the many tangled confines of understanding
much of the legalities involving payroll.
In my role, there is often no gray, clearly only right or wrong and
often I am forced to enforce laws, policy and procedures or worse have to
firmly stand my ground and say “No.”.
Foremost, I want to give some extra thanks and appreciation to
Shenna Simpson, Mark Russell and a few others over the years who had the
patience to mentor, guide and try to teach me the proper accounting terms and
budgeting skills over the years, here’s to you!
They all made working outside of my comfort zone much easier by helping
me build skills and confidence in my newly promoted position.
Hands down, a huge thank you to two previous payroll
directors, Roberto Soba and Scott Cook for their guidance and training me about
the ins and outs of payroll. Through
their years of experience and strong payroll backgrounds, I learned more about payroll
than I have from any workshops, university classes or in-service units I have
ever taken. The best part I was able to
apply my knowledge through examples and practice withing our own payroll
system. Despite facing all these
challenges, I managed to not only succeed in the role and but survived three
payroll conversions during my tenure as the payroll administrator.
Being the nerd I am for trivia and useless information,
please indulge me one last time. Here it
is, some numbers from payroll. I
processed closed to a quarter of a billion, nearly or $250 million worth of
payroll since I have been involved in payroll.
On my last payroll processed for pay date December 13, 2024, it was
composed 1918 active staff, of only 353 of you were already born when I first
stepped into the YMCA that very first day in July 1984. Presently, my one month’s payroll is higher
than the entire annual budget of the YMCA when I first started. I am responsible for the largest single
expense in the budget line as opposed to when I was in grants and fundraising,
I helped write or raise over $75 million dollars which was l responsible for
the largest single income stream. Both
contributed to the immeasurable number of staff and families I impacted over
the years. I could go on for much longer
than time permits but I promise to keep it brief, but I would be remiss if I
didn’t also acknowledge several other YMCA professionals who were part of my
journey. Kudos to
a few others who couldn’t join my career celebration but I heard them cheering
me all along. Irene Butcher, Howard Hancock, Pamela J Jones, Ann May, and
Thomas J Steen.
Lastly, I want to extend a huge thank
you for my two pillars of support, my Mom and one of my closest friends, Bryan
Bensing for being present tonight and even more so being my sounding board of
many Y stories. I wonder what are they
both going to do now that I won’t have new material? Do I go into rerun mode?
My Mom who hates crowds and even more so hates
going into situations where she doesn’t know anyone, felt like she knew most of
the ones who I introduced her to. Although,
a little overwhelming for her, I could tell she was enjoying seeing her only
(birth) son being praised and shown love from all of you.
Though
she will tell you I am her rock and rock star, I wouldn’t be the person I am
without her and my beloved late Dad (who I forgot to mention last night but
felt his presence embrace me when I spoke).
They both were not necessarily the Cleaver, Brady, Seevers or Huxtable
set of parents but they were two immigrants who fled their homeland in 1956 and
became proud American citizens who worked hard to live their best American
dream and chased every opportunity to make sure their only son would be better
off and have it easier than they did.
There were times where I couldn’t lean on my Mom
for support, for those times I thank Bryan for being by my side not just
hearing my Y stories but being my rock of support all I went through with Dad’s
health and now with my Mom’s own health issues.
He has been on more than one occasion was that one best friend who still
lives in south Florida. There were
several times he would race to be by my side when I needed not just a voice on
the phone but a hug of reassurance or help my family out too. He is my Mom’s other son and is proud to call
my Mom, his other Mom. Without him at
times, I think I would have easily found myself buried away in my pain and troubles. He was always there to cheer me on during
celebratory times as well, my travel mate and one who loved to explore the
greatness of our kitchens and make some amazing meals.
Both shared how great it was to put faces to names
in my tales and truly enjoyed themselves and thanked me for the invitation to
be a part of my special night. I truly
loved how so many truly become my extended family by seamlessly being able to
converse and share love with them both.
Lastly, I’d be negligent in so many
ways if I did not emphasize my gratitude for José E. Piñera as my only
remaining supervisor still living in South Florida. There are stories to share and books that can
be written in all that we’ve been through.
José’s mentorship and friendship over the years has been truly
exceptional, he shared openly his experiences where he succeeded or even when
he failed, but if anything, he’s brutally honest, which is what I truly value
in a mentor. He laid the initial
foundations of my YMCA career by sharing with me how to make the ask (for the
annual campaign), how to handle a hot-headed principal who was pissed off at
something one of my staff did in our program or how to deal with certain egos
at the corporate level. All with his
genuine smile and his own story to share.
I can’t even or know where to start but I’ll sum it up with a “¡Muchas
gracias por tu amistad todos estos años.
Dios los bendiga hoy simpere.”
I learned early on in my education, storytelling is the best
way to convey life’s lessons, meaningful messages, teach moments to show
through adversity and diversity, we are still in this together. Oh, yeah, we even vocally vent amongst to our
closest confidants. Our work at the Y
consumes many times more hours with our work families than our own. Often there is a fine line between our
families from blood and those at work who have become an extension of our
families. The tables turn, when you, as
staff, taunt or mock me and say there goes Robert with another one of his
stories. I wouldn’t be who I am without
my stories and am quite aware I shared a lot of stories over the years,
probably more than I could ever write about in my lifetime.
As we were saying
our 1000th farewell for the evening, I tried to get to everyone and
personally thank you for coming and share an emotional, see you later, to as
many as I could as they departed for the evening. Before I knew it the evening ended, with my
Mom and one of my closest (not just in distance) best friend and handful of
staff remaining, we gathered all the cards, gifts and memories and said one
last farewell, for the final time.
As I drove home with my Mom, I noticed her eyes
looked probably much like how mine felt from shedding so many happy tears
throughout the evening with all the words shared by everyone including our
CEO. Then without any warning, my Mom,
through tears, mentioned “you are the best thing that ever happened to me.” She
than proceeded to share how proud she was of my accomplishments and how great I
must feel from all the heartfelt words everyone shared about me. Being the social introvert, she knew very
well, it made me very uncomfortable to have a celebration in my honor and made
even worse having to acknowledge everyone in an impromptu speech. I can teach or do a full training to a large
group of people with no hesitation or have my nerves tested, yet when the
tables turn and it becomes all about me, I squirm and become uncomfortable.
The entire drive to my Mom’s home, I heard my cell
phone alert me to missed calls, text messages and e-mails. I couldn’t get home fast enough, as I pulled
into Mom’s driveway, I barely parked, race into the house, only to whip out my
cell phone to see what I missed in terms of calls, text messages and
e-mails. But more than anything, I
wanted to capture all my thoughts racing through my mind. I wanted to capture much of this monumental
moment before it gets cluttered with everything else going on in my head. Sitting on Mom’s couch, I am writing a mixed
and matched of what will become part of my blog’s post. I don’t think I even had a moment to regroup,
refresh and rejoice as I really wanted to get my words out before I had to
chase them or worse lose them. It may
take a month or so to compile as I will be reliving the whole experience again,
once I start writing. The result, you
are reading parts of it with a few more to come.
As I retire, I look forward to pursuing more
selfish acts of putting me first before anyone else, taking care of my bucket
list, travel with Mom while she still can and pursue things that I wanted to do
but never could give or find the time to.
Did I just write that?
Many of you know me, some of you know me too well
and know me as this social introvert who could and would do anything to dodge
or find an easy escape from being thrown into the spotlight or any other means
of having attention on me. A lot of
happy tears and sad smiles tonight while I really tried to hold my composure, a
few of you really hit some heart strong moments and broke me.
Again, I want to express my sincere gratitude and
appreciation for those of you who took time out of
your own lives to spend your evening with me.
It meant a lot to know, but hear your stories and share your sincere
appreciation for my contributions to the YMCA and the impact I had on
them. After all, most only know me as
the payroll guy who wore the Y shirt and loves to share stories and parables of
life while being there for them. Some
know me for the tough love I exhibit to ensure compliance and keeping
everything in order. Being a department
of one, I enjoyed sharing my stories and hearing your tales as well. It provided much needed entertainment for a
department of one, in an otherwise lonely position. When I first entered the payroll realm, I was
told by one of my mentors working in payroll has been compared to being a
housekeeper. Your responsible to keep
the house in order, keep everything clean and know there’s place for everything
and anything. Yet, it’s taken for
granted but soon as the dirt rises or something cannot be found, you become the
first person they turn to.
In closing, I wish you all well in your journey and thank each and every one
of you for the countless memorable moments, chasing challenges, the laughter
and at times tears, shared conquests and most importantly being there through
some of the tough times we have been through together. As I transition my journey into retirement, I
want to remind you it is not really saying good-bye but see you soon. Stay in touch and if you ever need another
Robert story, give me a call let’s get together sooner than later!
One last word…
…oh shit, I digress, again!
Well, here it is, the clock keeps ticking towards
the moment when I leave out the door the final time as a staff member on
December 13, 2024, a few hours short of my 54th year. I will celebrate my birthday, confidently
knowing my legacy is sealed. When the
calendar flips to year 2025, with my pension in hand, I will begin a new life as
a retiree and begin writing the next chapter of my life. I guess, I had the last hoorah … as I truly
had one blessed career filled with great people who lead the way before me, yet,
mentored me to become the person I am today.
Again, many thanks for all the calls, cards,
letters, emails and love over the years and patience to put up with this at
times stubborn, but always wearing a Y shirt and his heart on his sleeve.
It’s not farewell, nor good-bye see you from
another perspective. I can only hope if
they don’t hear or see me around, they will poke me, remind me, you too, are
still around and it’s time to catch up with each other and not simply be
another face that fades into the sunset.
My love to my life friends and those who are my
extended Y family.
Forever, blessed and grateful!
Thank you! 🙏🏻 💝
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