Nor was I aware of my behaviors,
Contributing to your unhappiness
But I was lost in my own world of thoughts.
I didn’t know how and when to tell you
The physical pain I was enduring,
Or emotional luggage I carried
From the moment I walked out my front door.
I haven’t found courage to share with you
My past filled with shortcomings and failures,
You gently offered advice with kindness
I spoke as my voice trembled, tied in knots.
Deep within, I think you probably knew
My life’s pain only kept resurfacing,
Yet, I really tried to keep them buried
But left alone, it stressed me to the core.
You listened and heard my voice quiver and
Knew all my thoughts, before my words depart,
I am trying to become the same friend
Like the very one you’ve become to me.
When the clouds emptied the rain held within
It was like heaven released my own tears,
Washing away the pain I was holding
Allowing a hint of me to be seen.
Soaked through with regret, I offer my hand
Seeking a reprieve from my empty heart,
Not quite yet ready to call it the end
Until all my inner thoughts were set free.
It was just an obstacle of where we’ve been
Hoping we move on, as yesterday nears,
Ours is still a lifelong friendship growing
With only time knowing what is foreseen.
Impatiently, I’m nervously waiting
Once again, trying to release my fears,
It was too late to tell you the details
Without trying to cover it all up.
It’s when I get lost in my world of thoughts
With my carried emotions lashing out,
Feeling I’m the only person around
To bear the wrath of my indifference.
I tried to look at you without staring
Wanting nothing more than to spend our years,
Sharing stories, living life, telling tales
Making memories, then add it all up.
Recently, looking at all my life’s naughts
I can now stand by you, without a doubt,
Reflecting in prayer, the gift I’ve now found
Is our friendship graced by God’s inference.
Photo Courtey of www.unsplash.com - photo by: Armin Lotfi
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