DESPONDENT DETACHMENT

Why is it I feel,

I do all the work,

Keeping this friendship,

For both you and I. 

How is it always,

I’m the only one, 

Attempts to reach out,

Places a phone call,

Sends a needed text,

Writes and sends e-mail,

Invites you to lunch,

Or, your choice meal.

I was willing to,

Even pick up the tab,

Cook your favorite,

For a night at home.   

When I ask of you,

What you want to do,

Your usual answer,

Just a simple shrug,

Or an “I don’t know.”

When I make a choice,

The answer is worse,

“Nah, not interested.”

The harder I try, 

Pulling you in close,

All you seem to do,

Is push me away.

Things you liked to do,

No longer ignite,

Catch your interest,

Or a quick glance up.

I remember days,

Without any words,

Only a smile,

We made lifelong friends.

Like the autumn leaves,
Your vibrant colors,
Marked your presence here,

Then everywhere too.

But in recent times,

Intentionally,

You kept your distance,

From all those you loved.

I start to wonder,

“Is it me who’s changed?”

“Where did we go wrong?”

Yet, I still love you.

I question myself,

“Am I good enough?”

“Did I do something,

Different or wrong?”

Maybe your stressed out,

Then I suggested,

A vacation trip,

Change your scenery.

In return from you,

All I get is blank,

Empty expressions,

Still with no answers. 

Then I start over,

But this time around,

I suggest you seek,

Professional help.

With a simple nod,

You acknowledged me,

With a voided stare,

You nervously squirmed.

I opened my arms,

Ready to capture,

An imminent fall,

Should it happen.

Time to close those wounds,

Like trees preparing,
For long winter days,

Dropping last year’s leaves. 

Let go of burdens,

You carried to now, 

Quit suppressing hurt,

From your younger years.

With one last embrace,

I sent you away,

Knowing you’ll return,

A better person.

Today’s your first day,

On the road ahead,

In finding your self,

The one lost long ago.

Look to brighter days,

Let yourself be freed,

There is a new you,

Waiting to be found.

With tears in your eyes,

Asking nervously,

“Will it be too much”,

“To stand by my side?”

Without any doubt,

“Anything for friends”,

“Thick or thin, I’m here”,

“For all of your days.”

I know they will help,

You’ll find the person, 

I knew as my friend,

From times long ago.

Your eyes filled with tears,

My last words to you,

“Stop ruminating, 

All your yesterdays”,

“Find time everyday,

Allow yourself to

Pray, heal, grow and thrive,

From this day forward.”

One final embrace,

I wished you much luck,

Prayed for your success,
As you walked away.

With tears in my eyes,

I say my good-bye, 

I walk straight ahead,

But not turn my back.

My promise to you,

I’ll be the first one,

Welcoming you back,

Like you never left.

Time seemed to stand still,

What seemed like forever,

For the duration,

That you were away.

I was impatient,
Waiting nervously,
Anticipating,

Your arrival home,

Time waits for no one,

I know you have changed,

Yet, I too have changed,

Just like spring’s new leaves.

New green leaves sprouting,

New ranches growing,
A fresh beginning,

For all known to you.

Each time my phone rings,

I rush to answer,

Hoping to hear you,

Say you’re coming home.

I rehearsed my say,

But I didn’t know,

With what words to say.

When I heard your voice.

In my excitement, 

I didn’t hear your words, 

As my own voice squeaked,

Enthusiasm.

Then you repeated,

“I am coming home.”

Loud enough to hear,

By all in ear’s shot.

As your voice echoed,

The news was heard by,

Your close family, 

Then your friends found you.

I can barely wait,

For you, my old friend,

Grab a drink and seat,

To hear your stories.

 

It is only then,

I will once again,

Open my arms and

Welcome your return.