UNCOVERING MYSELF THROUGH NEW ROUTINES

It’s been just over a year,
Seems like only yesterday,
Since I retired
From my career at the Y.

I spent time,
More than I probably should have,
I ruminated and
Created an old school
Pro’s and con’s list.

While emptying boxes,
A tissue or two wipes away tears
As old memories resurface.

But now its done,
Everyone asks me,
How will I fill my time,
Which will be my own.

I honestly said,
That is no issue,
As I have plenty,
Keeping me busy.

I wake up early,
Way before the sun,
Get the java going,
I no longer race,
Beating morning rush,
Get to work early,
No longer eat breakfast,
In the car or on the go
Avoiding traffic,
But in facing the rat race
Of the office politics,
Of the favorites and
Of the never ending
Phone calls, emails and visits.

I only race
Out the door to the beach,
Where I race the clock,
Greeting the waking sun,
As it scrambles the horizon,
Climbing above the ocean,
Greeting me back with His light.

I still try to workout,
Most days of the week,
At my local Y.

Before my body,
Feels any movement,
I start with my mouth,
A quick chat amongst,
My closest friends.
Only then I am ready,
Getting my muscles moving
Preventing aging and decay.
I am a far cry,
Being a gym rat,
But allows me to splurge,
In those evil treats,
Which all my life,
Bombarded my senses,
From all directions.

I fill my,
Voids in my day,
With whatever fills,
My balance of joy,
Finish chores and
Chase any errands,
Catch-up chit-chat,
With friends,
Who really are family,
Over a shared a meal,
Then catch-up on,
Latest happenings.

I find my way home,
Grab the closest drink,
With no other plans,
Take a long shower,
Get dressed in home threads,
find my comfy chair,
Either listen to,
My favorite songs,
Or put on TV,
To binge a season,
Or more of something,
I waited to watch,
When I looked the time,
Maybe find the time,
To plan my next trip.

I later decide lunch,
Meet up with a pal,
Or make something here,
It’s one of a few,
Hard pressed decisions,
I am forced to make,
Each and every day.

I return to my home,
Ready for a nap,
Maybe take time for,
One of my many
Solo diversions.
Which I fought for time,
Before this new normal.

Finding time to write,
Or even to sketch,
Or paint a picture,
Or read a novel,
Or catch up on mail,
Or some new hobby,
Which I have yet to learn,
But have the time to learn.

With more time to spare,
I try recipes,
Which collected dust,
From not seeing light,
In my junk drawer,
Or the one I caught,
Watching too many
Cooking TV shows.

I invite friends over,
Share a meal and
Some stories and more,
Maybe a movie,
Or old school board games,
Make for a relaxed,
Evening for all.

Once the evening ends,
I’ll clean up the mess,
With a smile on my face,
From new memories created,
Of the night’s events.

Then when I’m ready,
I’ll call it a night,
Say a prayer or two,
Then lights off,
Only to repeat it,
On another day.

But in reality,

Yet,
I still struggle
finding and accepting,
My new normal,
My new routines,
My new social circles,
My new triggers,
My life as I know it.

I realize I am,
No longer the shy boy,
Now a middle aged man,
I have grown to call myself,
The learned social introvert,
Where I love being with people,
Yet, my life battery drains,
Needing a full recharge,
Before I can do another round.

I reflect back,
How far I have come,
I can stand tall and proud.
With a longstanding legacy,
I left behind for years to come.

Where I first started,
Over few decades ago,
To where I finished up,
My life played out much like
A few good rounds of poker.
I played all my chips at once,
I doubled down with nothing to lose,
And after a few royal flushes,
I walked away smiling,
Knowing I won life’s jackpot.