DESPONDENT DETACHMENT

Why is it I feel,

I do all the work,

Keeping this friendship,

For both you and I. 

How is it always,

I’m the only one, 

Attempts to reach out,

Places a phone call,

Sends a needed text,

Writes and sends e-mail,

Invites you to lunch,

Or, your choice meal.

I was willing to,

Even pick up the tab,

Cook your favorite,

For a night at home.   

When I ask of you,

What you want to do,

Your usual answer,

Just a simple shrug,

Or an “I don’t know.”

When I make a choice,

The answer is worse,

“Nah, not interested.”

The harder I try, 

Pulling you in close,

All you seem to do,

Is push me away.

Things you liked to do,

No longer ignite,

Catch your interest,

Or a quick glance up.

I remember days,

Without any words,

Only a smile,

We made lifelong friends.

Like the autumn leaves,
Your vibrant colors,
Marked your presence here,

Then everywhere too.

But in recent times,

Intentionally,

You kept your distance,

From all those you loved.

I start to wonder,

“Is it me who’s changed?”

“Where did we go wrong?”

Yet, I still love you.

I question myself,

“Am I good enough?”

“Did I do something,

Different or wrong?”

Maybe your stressed out,

Then I suggested,

A vacation trip,

Change your scenery.

In return from you,

All I get is blank,

Empty expressions,

Still with no answers. 

Then I start over,

But this time around,

I suggest you seek,

Professional help.

With a simple nod,

You acknowledged me,

With a voided stare,

You nervously squirmed.

I opened my arms,

Ready to capture,

An imminent fall,

Should it happen.

Time to close those wounds,

Like trees preparing,
For long winter days,

Dropping last year’s leaves. 

Let go of burdens,

You carried to now, 

Quit suppressing hurt,

From your younger years.

With one last embrace,

I sent you away,

Knowing you’ll return,

A better person.

Today’s your first day,

On the road ahead,

In finding your self,

The one lost long ago.

Look to brighter days,

Let yourself be freed,

There is a new you,

Waiting to be found.

With tears in your eyes,

Asking nervously,

“Will it be too much”,

“To stand by my side?”

Without any doubt,

“Anything for friends”,

“Thick or thin, I’m here”,

“For all of your days.”

I know they will help,

You’ll find the person, 

I knew as my friend,

From times long ago.

Your eyes filled with tears,

My last words to you,

“Stop ruminating, 

All your yesterdays”,

“Find time everyday,

Allow yourself to

Pray, heal, grow and thrive,

From this day forward.”

One final embrace,

I wished you much luck,

Prayed for your success,
As you walked away.

With tears in my eyes,

I say my good-bye, 

I walk straight ahead,

But not turn my back.

My promise to you,

I’ll be the first one,

Welcoming you back,

Like you never left.

Time seemed to stand still,

What seemed like forever,

For the duration,

That you were away.

I was impatient,
Waiting nervously,
Anticipating,

Your arrival home,

Time waits for no one,

I know you have changed,

Yet, I too have changed,

Just like spring’s new leaves.

New green leaves sprouting,

New ranches growing,
A fresh beginning,

For all known to you.

Each time my phone rings,

I rush to answer,

Hoping to hear you,

Say you’re coming home.

I rehearsed my say,

But I didn’t know,

With what words to say.

When I heard your voice.

In my excitement, 

I didn’t hear your words, 

As my own voice squeaked,

Enthusiasm.

Then you repeated,

“I am coming home.”

Loud enough to hear,

By all in ear’s shot.

As your voice echoed,

The news was heard by,

Your close family, 

Then your friends found you.

I can barely wait,

For you, my old friend,

Grab a drink and seat,

To hear your stories.

 

It is only then,

I will once again,

Open my arms and

Welcome your return.

 

 

 

 

NATURE’S NURTURING NEED FOR HEALING

Accepting   
an impromptu invite,
riding the ribbon roadway
right out to the beach.

Winds whispering
welcome,
with each wave washing away
today’s unforgiving worries.

Salt air
stings my sinuses,
leaving tiny droplets
waiting to dissolve in my mouth.

Conversations
casually come and go,
chatting current events and
common interests.

From the horizon‘s end,
blue open ocean’s waters
stretch seamlessly
forever.

Feeding off of
our conversations,
lifelong friendship and
fellowship bridges are built.

Staring somewhat silently,
startled by sandy shores
repeatedly crashed
by each wave.

Contemplating choices,
then ruminating resolutions
towards life’s
relentless conflicts.

Nature’s perpetual prelude,
calms perplexed points
with promises for
peaceful tomorrows.

Where I will always be thankful
for the day when you joined
my life’s journey
as my friend.

 

CONFESSIONS OF SPENDING THE AMERICAN DREAM

With my best tone-deaf voice, I sing a song,

In the tune of Snow White’s dwarfs catchy tune,

“I owe, I owe, so off to work I go.”

In competing to keep up with neighbors,

I aim to stay one step ahead of all.

In having the latest and the greatest,

In all my autos, electronics and

Gadgets spread inside and outside my home.

I manage to charge up my credit cards,

Increasing my debt each and every day.

I barely make the minimum payments,

Stores don’t even bat an eyelash or two,

When I reach in my wallet and look in,

I debate which of my many charge cards,

Begging to be swiped, as if they’re screaming,

“Pick me! Pick me!” then I have to decide.

My bi-weekly paycheck evaporates,

To debtors faster than the pay I earn.

My addiction grows exponentially,

With every wish and desire of must haves.

Knowing I don’t have the cash, I still spend,

Often on frivolous today’s must haves,

Only becoming tomorrow’s thrift shop find.

Then, before I gain control of myself,

I find myself repeating this cycle,

Justifying to myself once again,

Why I just spent my own hard-earned money,

On something which clearly was useless junk.

I justify to myself than others,

The why and when I needed to have it,

Yet, their refuted voices were drowned out,
By the louder voice talking in my head.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Post-Note:   This was a writing challenge in one of my writer's clubs to involve the term "money" in either narrative/prose or poetry of any style.  The piece has to be not true to you or your style of writing.  This contradicts me as I am financially responsible and don't often just buy something for the sake of momentarily feeling the need to burn my money on something later I will regret nor do I often write in a comical or humorous tone.

I AM ALL BUT A FADED MEMORY

It’s been ninety days,
since I retired.

I miss my colleagues
and to all those who
became nothing less
than my extended
family but don’t
miss the stress of work,
deadlines or long hours.

My only struggle,
is trying to find
my new normal day,
as I have not found
routine or schedule.

There’s not been a day
where my new schedule,
opened to boredom.

As I predicted,
the moment I walked
out the office door,
the very last time
my legacy’s sealed.   

 

Before my seat cools,
my position’s filled,
with a new body,
assuming my role
and carving a niche
of their very own.

My name and tenure
faded away quick,
as if it dissolved
into the thin air.

When spoken about,
the few remember
my smile and tales,
of many years passed;
all the positions,
I held in my years,
and the changes seen
in my just over
forty and half years.

When I go visit,
it all looks the same
but upon looking
beneath the surface
time changed everything
including people.

To those remaining,
my name is still heard,
as a once has been,
while they resume,
pushing papers then
typing memos and
carrying on chats.

As more time passes,
I will continue
to fade away and
eventually be
invisible like
the air amongst us.

THERE’S NO PLATITUDE IN GRATITUDE

I came into your class knowing it all,

You greeted me, while I proudly stood tall.

I watched in amazement, your one act play,

You performed perfectly, for me each day.

 

I seemed to always have something to say,

You looked up, as I was about to say.

“I’m caught up with all classwork and homework”,

You asked, if I wished to show all my work.

 

I took my seat, a pop quiz greeted me,

You did not say, but your face said you knew.

I stared at my paper, filled with unknowns,

You called time, asked papers be turned face down.

 

I shared my thoughts with my friends after class,

You walked past me, knowing I did not pass.

I frowned at my grade, then I took a chance,

You listened, as I did my song and dance.

 

I heard you say what you would recommend,

You firmly said, what you say may offend.

I tried to hold back tears, anger and strife,

You stole what was left of my high school life.

 

I welcomed your offer, stayed after school,

You gave your time without losing your cool.

I left, with no choice, but to change today,

You stood by me, showing an improved way.

 

I recalled no matter how hard I tried,

You kept me focused, even when I cried.

I aimed for perfection in every quest,

You explained, all you wanted was my best.

 

I often reflect back to your lectures,

You helped me look past my imperfections.

I felt a slight spark of my light in class,

You showed me how to get the grades to pass.

 

I looked back, when I thought you won the race,

You grinned, as I now shined within your grace.

I completed my final high school days,

You cheerfully hugged me and offered praise.

 

I see the same boy coming to your class,

You saw my future through your looking glass.

I know, I wouldn’t be where I am now,

You did somehow but I still don’t know how.

 

I saw a grown man exit the classroom,

You always mentioned to me, don’t assume,

I finished a college degree or two,

You heard of everything I was up to.

 

I found out, years after graduation,

You rebuilt and reinforced my foundation.

I celebrated my success with you,

You were always the first one I’d run to.

 

I wished, I danced with you on your last dance,

You granted so many, a second chance.

I wished, I sang with you on your last song,

You shared your time, helping others along.

 

I asked for a date with just you and I,

You really wanted to know my why.

I struggled finding the right words to share,

You suggested, I start off with a prayer.

 

I did not want to give more platitude,

You deserved more than just my gratitude.

I hoped to stop by and thank you today,

You questioned me, with what I had to say.

 

I was too busy getting through today,

You guided my tomorrow, yesterday.

I shock everyone, when I say I teach,

You seemed to know; it was within my reach.

 

I delivered my daily assignment,

You arrived tardy, stirring excitement.

I greeted you, like long lost family,

You reciprocated substantially.

 

I saw the hands of time turn back some years,

You taught a lesson, my eyes filled with tears.

I reminisced, being in your classroom,

You told my class, about watching me bloom.

 

I realized now why my students laughed,

You presented what you choreographed.

I started singing and dancing with you,

You gleamed, as I taught my lesson anew.

 

I first heard the calling back in high school,

You reminded me, follow my heart’s rule.

I will be forever in debt to you,

You’re my why, I’m a teacher just like you.